myreal.everyday.life.

he's 'lyin' like a ehpane.

2012-02-18T07:41:00.000-06:00

The other night, Jonyn had a superman cape on that we've had forever and was wearing with just his diaper (it was after bath, and just before bed, and I'm too cheap to buy pullups for overnight). He kept climbing on the coffee table trunk and asking to "'ly like a ehpane peas." He wouldn't jump off until gave him permission, or at least acknowledged that we heard him asking to jump. So we did, over and over again.

Then he wanted me to count it out for him. "1, 2, 3, JUMP!" So we did that for awhile. After many jumps, Brennen joined in. Only, he would climb up, sit down, and basically slide off the trunk. Super cute.

At this point in the story I'd like to make mention that Jonyn has never seen a Superman movie or show. He has no idea who Clark Kent is. He probably doesn't even really know who Superman is, but because we've told him the name of the hero's cape he wears, he knows it's a Superman Cape.

That being said, suddenly, when we'd say his name, he'd say, "No, I Soopamen." Okay, fine, then we'd call him Superman.

Then he suddenly whipped the cape off over his head and said, "No, I Jonyn!"

This went on for several more minutes.

No kidding. He apparently has two identities like the real Superman. Who knew?

Friday's Top Ten 02.17.12

2012-02-17T09:58:00.004-06:00

1. Now that I'm all kinds of knocked up, my hair has stopped falling out. I like that it's nice and thick now and growing like mad. What I don't like is a) the time it takes to get all the soap out and b) the time it takes to blow dry it. That is, when I actually wash it and don't put gunk into it to make it stay wavy-ish.

2. Valentine's Day came and went. I used to love the holiday. This year... meh. We cooked steaks. And Toby and I watched a movie.

3.My mom and her Bruce are coming down tomorrow to bring us a table that used to belong to my Nanny. It's huge and gorgeous! I can't wait to see them. Something about hugging my mom and smelling her hair always provides comfort and lessens my stress.

4. I am absolutely kicking myself for forgetting that Lightroom 3 was on sale for $69 on Wednesday til midnight. I decided not to get it right away and think on it. Then forgot about it until 11:15 Wednesday night after I was almost asleep and in too much pain to get up and purchase it. kicking myself. What a deal. Now I know that if it goes that low again, I will not hesitate.

5. Remember when I thought my trampy cat was pregnant just after birthing her kittens last year? Turns out she wasn't, she just put on a lot of weight quickly or something. So she's pregnant now, and looks like her belly is going to bust open. She's so huge.And she looks totally uncomfortable. And I can totally relate.

6. also, according to Jonyn, her name is officially Mommy Cat. It is all he calls her. I, on the other hand, have all kinds of names for her. keekee, tramp, hussie, baby girl, bertha, cat, kee-cat, momma cat. the list goes on. Is it strange to not officially name your pet that invaded your home over a year ago? Just wondering...

{Jo, watching a movie, on his belly, on my unkempt bed}

7. Sallie, our basset/beagle is going to live with my in-laws. I can't handle her neediness anymore. She seems depressed because she doesn't get all the attention her poor little self requires. I just don't have the time or patience to love on her like she wants. Also, when we don't love on her enough she takes it out on our carpet. Seriously, she will pee in the floor out of spite if she's not getting the attention she thinks she needs. We tested this thought. And I'm tired of my house getting peed in. So off to the country she goes. Where she will love it.

8. Our weather here has been classic Texas. Tuesday: snow. Wednesday: Lower 70's, open windows. Thursday: lower 40's with a ten minute rain.

9. I will be taking all four kids with my largely pregnant self to The Wal-Marks today. I will ignore all the nasty and 'you're crazy' looks and try to smile through all the ~~dumb~~ ~~stupid~~ comments and questions.

10. We have to go the dreaded place because we're having a family night. Homemade pizza and then whatever else the kids wanna do. Plus, I gotta get some stuff for when my Mom is here. But tonight should be fun. Tomorrow should be so happy, too, with family here.

Hope your weekend is lovely, friends.

toddlers vs. mom

2012-02-16T15:57:00.000-06:00

I used to be great at just blogging and writing about my days. And it's probably boring to some. But I enjoyed it. I got it all out there and then felt better.

Today has been a day I need to get off my chest. Sheesh. Usually Toby comes home on lunch and I get a tiny break where I might not have to get on to the kids for an hour, or he gets to change a diaper or I can have grown up conversations or sit in front of the t.v. for 45 minutes. Today, he did not come home.

I'm needing some girl time. I really miss that since moving. Like, really.

Anyways, so today... I feel like all I've done today, until about an hour ago when baby went down for a nap, is battle, and fight, and fend off toddlers. Brennen can climb on to the table and takes every opportunity that he gets to do so. Today he smashed my iPad into my pizza while I made math copies for the boys. It only took him about 30 seconds to accomplish that. Maybe it's my fault for leaving it all on the table. Good thing I hadn't opened my can of Ginger Ale, that likely would have been spilled.

Here's another one for you... Jo was just in his big boys. They're about a size too big. And he apparently has a slightly upset stomach today. I'll sum up by saying he apparently pooed just a tiny bit and B was painting the floor with it. With his fingers. Um yeah. My day has been glamorous. I caught on to what was happening before it got too bad though, thankfully.

It has just been a day where I'm, once again, surprised I still have all my hair. ya know?

On the other hand, school today was great. We're several days behind, but working on catching up. And I have been taking time here and there to make copies for the rest of the year. Hopefully none of it will be a waste. If it turns out not to be, I may make all my copies at once before the next school year begins. We'll see. I will have a new baby by then so I may change my mind.

Also, my sleeping seems to have stabilized and my energy levels have come up just a little. Apparently it took me getting to the half way point with this baby to feel normal again. SO, I've been doing more around the house. But my body is paying for it painfully. I love carrying a baby, but I despise the terrible aches and pains doing too much causes me.

To sum up, I will be glad to see my pillow tonight.

The end.

routine: check!

2012-02-14T11:43:00.001-06:00

Last night I couldn't sleep. So I got up, browsed the net, then decided to finally start on a routine printable check list I had been wanting to make for a while. Like I said, I'm sure this idea is floating around out there and is nothing new, but I wanted to share my little creation for my boys who need help remembering what to do in the mornings and evenings.

I made the morning routine. Then just copied the night time one and swapped some things around. I think they're cute. They match their room. And I'll probably hang them close to their bedroom door.

I just need to find a way to fashion something to hold a dry erase eraser and a dry erase marker. I'll have to think on this. Naturally I want it to be visually appealing.

Anyhow, here's the night time routine.

I know, you'd think they'd remember to put their clothes in the basket and pick up their towels. But no, not so much. I say it almost everyday. "Who left the towels in the floor?" Then I glare. Because after several years of showers and me saying "Pick up your towels!?" you'd think they'd get it.

But since they don't, here they go, a check list. A nice one at that! This, too, will go in a painted frame.

And it never hurts to have "pick up your bedroom/floor" on both pages because there are always rogue toys that seem to jump out of their hiding place in the middle of the night. true story.

it's almost 2am

2012-02-14T02:04:00.000-06:00

and I totally couldn't sleep.

So I laid there for a while. Thoughts racing. Then I decided to get up.

I have been wanting to make a printable for the boys for a while now for their morning and night time routines. They kind of have a hard time remembering every thing they're supposed to do. And I really want them to form good habits now while they're still youngsters.

I'm sure there's some routine printables out there somewhere (I didn't even search for one), but I wanted something visually appealing and something that matched their room. I also wanted something that would work for both of them.

So I opened up Photoshop, went to The Coffeeshop Blog to find some cute digital papers and little cutouts and such. I went to work and came up with this.

The plan is to put it in an 8x10 frame, painted to match, and let them use dry erase markers to check it off each day. Now that idea is not a new one, I know. But I like the idea, it's so doable, and they love to check things off.

I LOVE how this turned out. I never know what's gonna happen when I try to make something from nothing. Usually it doesn't work out so well. I stink at design and such, but this is so simply made, nothing very fancy pants about it. And like I said, they will like the check marking. Yes they will!

It's cute, huh? Maybe I'll go lay back down now and maybe tomorrow I'll work on their night time routine one.

let's chat

2012-02-13T21:30:00.000-06:00

So hey. How's it goin?

So tell me, why is it that my 16 month old toddler will sit quietly and happily in Daddy's lap no matter where they are sitting. But in my lap, he squirms and reaches for stuff and wiggles until I think he wants down, but really he doesn't so he just throws a fit until I put him back in my lap to not be still again. I don't get it.

Also, Toby took some extra days off this weekend. He mostly had a bunch of school work to get done. But in between, he managed to hang two ceiling fans (living and dining rooms) (and also, they actually function! whoop!), and a new over the sink light fixture, and a new over the bar light fixture. I was pretty thankful my dear husband did all that. Our house looks a hundred times better and more modern.

The old fans were the exact same style fans I grew up with as a kid. And the bar light was the exact same style light as when we lived in old base housing early in our marriage, like just before kids. It was all a little strange.

Anyhow, in this town it seems popular to have a privacy fence, with a chain link dog run inside of it. And at some point, someone before us took out all the chain link and left the poles in the ground. So he pulled all those up this weekend, too. What a great guy I have. No more oddly placed poles in our yard.

We even managed to squeeze in a couple of movies after the kidlets went to bed. I might have fallen asleep during one.

I also might have made a last minute decision to get more than one kind of ice cream before the weekend due to a constant craving I might have had. And I might have eaten too much of that ice cream over the weekend, too. I'm not saying I did, just that I might have.

Also, my boy who turns three next month is basically potty trained. That only took a little over a week. I waited til he was ready, his bladder was developed, and he could talk and understand. And it was way less painless than starting too early like I did with the older two.

{my littles watching it snow for the fifth time this season. in west texas.

that's nuts. also, Jo wears his big boys all day now.}

Brennen can climb up into the dining room chairs now, so I took his booster seat down when he started climbing into empty chairs wanting to eat from there. I even gave him a real plate. I mean, why wait? Less I have to wipe down after meals. Also, he finds it fun to then climb onto the table and run back and forth. Why must all my children be so fearless?

Apparently, I am feeling rather chatty tonight.

Scavenger Hunt Sunday 02/12

2012-02-13T17:24:00.000-06:00

1. facial feature

I know I already shared this one, but since it fits...

2. shadow

My back patio with the shadow of the fence.

3. spicy

My spice drawer.

4. gold

There's some gold in there, right?
The sky...

teasing us with just a few sprinkles the other night close to sunset.

5. fabric

I have this really cute $5 sweater that I've only worn a handful of times.

And then I pulled it out of the dryer with giant holes. I'm hoping to turn it into a pillow cover. someday. And yes, I'm totally guilty of dryer drying things that should not be dryer dried.

linking up:

emotions and blessing

2012-02-08T18:05:00.003-06:00

It's not really a disappointment. That word is not fitting at all. And I don't feel disappointed, though I fully expected to.

It's more of a sadness, for what I'll never have. Maybe a slight breaking of the heart.

I waited all day for the tears I held back in that moment of knowing to come. And then, they suddenly hit.

Giant silent sobs. I won't have any more babies after this. I don't want any more. And this time around I feel it way down deep in my heart that Yes, this is the last. Unlike last time when I was a little unsure about having more. This one completes us. And strangely, I just feel it. I just know it.

As soon as we found out I was questioning God, "Don't you know the desires of my heart?"

Maybe I don't deserve them. Maybe it would be more than we could handle. Maybe it's simply a matter of not being the plan he has laid out for us.

But as much as my heart desires to have a daughter to call my own, I still love this one and am so incredibly thankful for this blessing of a fifth boy.

He's ours. And he's perfect and healthy and growing perfectly on track. My now 12oz son is being anxiously awaited. And I can't wait to see his personality and the color of his hair. and smell his skin. and hold him. and kiss him. and nurse him. and snuggle him. and rub his forehead. And give him a name.

We are so blessed. The twinge of sad for what I won't have or experience will pass. In the meantime, I am so thankful for this little one's health. I was so scared, unnecessarily so. I love him and I can't wait to meet him. He's our boy. And he will be so loved.

{p.s. she gave us a cd. I totally thought it was just images, but it's video (yay!) so I have no sono photos to post at the moment. maybe tomorrow I can scan them in and post a few :)}

flush

2012-02-07T08:30:00.000-06:00

I hate being that girl that can't talk in a big crowd,
all eyes watching,
with out the flush of red on the face.

Thoughts get stuck in head.
Shy takes over.
Nothing to be embarrassed about, yet warm falls on face as blood rushes.

Heart beats fast. faster.
Nerves take over.
Shake. Sweat.
Talking stops. Then words, they stay in mouth.

Flush finally goes away. Silence from my lips is all that's left.

linking up:

who's that girl?

2012-02-06T12:58:00.000-06:00

oh. it's just me.

I've been known to take photos of the fam with missing heads. or hands. or limbs. you know, just generally leaving out body parts. I thought I would do that with me.

I sorta dig the results. This is totally a selfie saturated post. (oh how I love my remote).

I have a few bad habits.
a) I never know which of my photos to submit into contests or into certain groups in the Flickr pools. Seems I always pick the wrong one.
b) When there is a contest/theme on photo blogs, and I don't have a photo for it, I always snap one the next day or a few days later that would have been perfect to enter.
c) I have no control. I post too many photos. So, here is me. a lot of me.

{oh, hi there baby [19+wks]}

{^the classic arm's length photo}

Friday's Top Ten

2012-02-03T15:10:00.001-06:00

1. This day has been awesome. Days like this are so few and far between that I'm trying really hard to enjoy it.

2. I was in bed fairly early last night reading and started dozing, so I closed the iPad and let sleep take me. At some point Toby came to bed. I vaguely remember that. I know I turned over several times in my sleep but I never really woke completely up. Then, Toby is kissing me and saying he's leaving for work. I never even knew it was morning or that he climbed out of bed and got ready. That's how asleep I was. Maybe it was because of the extra firm pillow I picked up at the store yesterday for my achy knees. Who knows. Either way, it was a glorious night after months and months of not sleeping.

(i.am.so.big. but I love him in this)

3. Confession: I never climb out of bed before 9am. Call me lazy, or call me this-pregnancy-is-taking-a-toll-on-me. Sheesh. I thought number 4 was hard. Now I'm almost 30 and geez, this.is.hard. So. Because of #2 above, I was up by 8:30 when Toby left for work. And that is a very very rare thing these days.

4. I totally plucked a gray hair from my two year old's head a little bit ago. No joke. And it was looong. I laughed. Maybe he's been stressed from all the playing and talking.

5. We finished school before lunch today. Another small miracle. And I sent the boys to play outside. I thought I'd have a quiet house for a bit before they got bored. No, they're back in after less than 10 minutes. Gah, we need some outside play toys.

6. We're potty training, in case you've missed that on my FB or instagram. It is going so great. About one accident a day since we started 4 days ago. Yes, in my experience, that's amazing. And it's mostly because I totally forgot to ask him if he needed to go. Because I might have forgot we were all learning the potty and stuff. Because maybe I get distracted easily.

(instagram)

7. I'm still looking for the perfect cupcake recipe. I found the perfect cookie recipe, yes I did. So I tried a chocolate cupcake recipe last night, it was eggless and butterless. They are more like brownies. Tasty, but not cupcake-y. And the chocolate buttercream icing I tried, not so buttercream-y. Although I did find the perfect vanilla buttercream icing recipe. The hunt is so on.

(okay, so they actually made the cupcakes)

8. I just sold my first print to a stranger on Etsy. The first one was to a friend. Which still made me uber excited.

(it was this one that I just sold. happy dance.)

9. I mentioned before that I was reading One Thousand Gifts. I've pretty much been telling every one to read it. She is very wordy and flowery, but in the midst of all that, it is amazing. Also, the cover of the book is so pretty, it makes it hard to resist. You should read it, too.

10. Taylan (and Toby) got new glasses. We ordered from zennioptical.com, spent about $90 for four pair. Love their prices. They both love their new specs. Taylan's favorite color is green, so we let him get a green pair. His other pair is very similar in shape, but mostly black. They look amazing on him, but of course, when you're 8 and have a favorite color, you always go with it. Glasses, cups, pencils, crayons, notebooks. You always pick your color. It's a rule or something.

(no, they're not crooked, it's the angle. and geez he's a good lookin' boy)

It's Friday Friday...

Have a lovely weekend. Praying mine keeps up the forward motion and stays amazing.

p.s. I just came across this. It made me happy. I agree :)

dreaming of different

2012-01-30T18:48:00.001-06:00

I sit here. After much yelling. Willing myself to be less stubborn.

If I were less stubborn, I could let go of the angry a lot faster. It wouldn't build so much that it exploded. It wouldn't be held on to. I wouldn't be too stubborn to let go of the frustration that holds me captive. That then leads to the yelling. And the close up threats.

I wouldn't sit here with regretful tears threatening to pour down. I'm sorry would spill out instead of stubbornly stay inside. I wouldn't wish to be someone else. I wouldn't beg to have this awful feeling taken away. I wouldn't need to wish for my emotional self to be healed.

Apologies don't come.

Regrets set deep.

Tears always threaten.

I dream of a different me.

The now me is a nightmare.

My heart hurts. But also feels so cold. I don't know how to be better. Desire to be well is in me somewhere.

The actual getting well is the really hard part. Why so hard. I wish I knew.

I want to be the woman I know is in there somewhere. She's trying to get out. To breathe. To see the world for it's beauty. To be loving in all situations. She's grasping. reaching. But this person, the person I am right now is holding her back.

But there is a better woman in there. She's there, if I can only reach down and find her. If this person would only allow the Lord to reach down and find her. I know she can overcome. The opening up to allow, it feels so hard, so vulnerable. Surely it can be done. But I can't remember how to open up wide.

I've opened my Bible. flipped. and stared. closed it again. Where do I even begin? This year is the year I allow my heart to be changed, but how? I don't know where to start.

Right now I sit here. Hurting hearts. Disappointed faces. Willing things to be different. Not knowing how to get there.

Friday's Top Ten

2012-01-27T17:03:00.001-06:00

Hi Friday. Glad it's you.

1. Yesterday I felt so stinkin' crummy. I woke up feeling so sick. Then it lasted all day. That and the headache I had, too. So I spent my day curled up in a chair with Netflix and the busted iPad, dozing in and out most of the day.

Today I feel much better.

2. Toby is taking the older kids to a hockey game this evening. The baby will go to bed shortly after they leave and Jo and I will be the only ones awake. He's such a busy boy. Maybe I can con him into helping me do some picking up around the house.

3. We have spent the majority of today doing school. I even [mostly] planned out the rest of the year's lessons. My original plan was to do school year around so we could take lots of small breaks. Then I went and got all knocked up and stuff and decided to have a baby mid-summer. So that plan has been squashed. And thank the Good Lord, we'll be done with school after the first week of June. So I'll have time to nest. or be lazy. It could go either way. Or both ways.

4. In fact, we were so caught up in school and lesson planning that I totally forgot to start dinner. No, it was not a crockpot dinner day. Rotisserie chicken. It sounded so good, but now it's too late to start it. And besides, I'm doing this blog post. Priorities, people. I'll probably make tacos. Easy.

5. I love how much he loves to read. He's about to wear out his Origami Yoda and Darth Paper books. I'm hoping a few more come out. He adores them. He loves anything Star Wars, but especially these two books. Also the whole reading + Star Wars thing totally proves he is equal parts Toby and me. Love that.

6. Now, Kanyon on the other hand, not so much a book lover. I was hoping he'd find some word love in The Magic Tree House Books. And he does like them. sometimes. But still does the big "ah man" sigh when I tell him it's time to read.

7. I'm so used to B exploding out of every diaper known to man, but Jonyn on the other hand. That rarely happens. Except today. when he had it up to his neck. literally. and had to have a head to toe bath. I wish he was ready to use the potty, I really really do.

8. Unless I'm remembering wrong, the other boys transitioned out of two naps a day just shortly after one. B is 16 months old and still needs and absolutely wants two naps. I'm not complaining, I just can't believe how much that boy sleeps. It's a beautiful thing.

9. Being back on thyroid meds has been so close to pure bliss. I am feeling so much more normal. I still have down days. And I'm still just a mean ol' Mom most of the time, but I'm trying. I'm working on not seeming so annoyed with the boys all the time. I know that's what my tone reflects half the time. I'm trying to get better at having a happier, less annoyed tone.

10. And seriously, a toddler running around repeating "I soopa fwy" really is the best thing ever. Especially when I don't know where he got it from.

Have a lovely weekend, homeboys.

number 5 at 18 weeks and some random thoughts

2012-01-26T11:07:00.000-06:00

I had my 18 week appointment with the midwife this morning. All is well. I get a little nervous going in each time. It's strange.

I know I shouldn't think like this, but I'm having my surprise 5th baby and wonder how healthy the little peanut will be. Is it possible to be blessed with 5 perfectly healthy children? Is it possible to have just one more that rarely gets sick, that is born perfect, that is just completely.... healthy? Is God so gracious? Even if I don't deserve it?

I just feel more anxious this time around. I don't want these thoughts, but there are always at the back of my mind. Especially when one day I feel all the tiny kicks and flips this baby is providing. Then the next day, I don't feel any.

But this morning, while she had the little doppler thing out to hear the heartbeat, the baby was so clearly flipping and punching and kicking and he was sitting at the front of my uterus where the midwife could actually feel him. or her.

And that's a whole 'nother thing. I have no motherly instincts about the sex of this baby. none. which is weird. I knew the first three were boys. The last one, I totally thought was a girl. And this time, I just don't know. No clue. But it's okay. I guess.

We have a sono in about a week and a half. We're still deciding whether to find out. Toby said he thought the birth would be more exciting if we had to wait to find out until he was born. or she. I, on the other hand, kinda want to know. I mean, it's already going to be a homebirth, it doesn't get much more exciting for me than that.

And come on, a homebirth is exciting for many reasons. And I can say this after having four non-homebirths. The best reason for me is no i.v.'s, which means not being poked 5 different times because they can't get the vein, or because my veins keep exploding. true story. i even passed out. Also, there's the whole annoying hospital stay where it's the middle of the night, you finally fall asleep, and someone comes in to check your bp and take your blood and it's 4am. yeah, none of that. And, too, the checkout process is a painful one, bleh. Happy to be avoiding that.

Also, no one is rushing you to get the baby out. Or in my case more than once, telling you to hold it in because the doctor is not inside the hospital. Yeah, that's the worst feeling ever. Plus, no pitocin to make the contractions hurt more. That'll be nice. Laboring with pitocin and no drugs, ouch. I've done that, too. And p.s. no painful pitocin means I won't feel like I need the epidural so bad. Which means no numb legs and no giant needle. And no not being able to move for hours.

Also, I can labor in any position I feel comfortable, I don't have to lie flat on my back. Good news.

And hey, I watched the movie The Business of Being Born on Netflix. And uh, I was kinda shocked by some of those statistics. Had I seen that (or rather had it been out) before my first was born, I mighta done things quite a lot different. I recommend giving it a watch. It was fascinating, except for all the naked laboring women. But I get it. However, I will be wearing some sort of clothing while I wander around my house laboring. Jus' sayin'.

As nervous as I am about this wee one not being perfectly healthy, I'm excited about the environment in which she will be born. or he.

p.s. I also loved the movie Babies. Call me a sucker for movies like that.

my sill

2012-01-24T19:44:00.001-06:00

After years and years and years. and years and years. in fact, since I moved out of my Mom's house after high school, I finally, oh finally have a cute little window over my kitchen sink again.

bliss.

It overlooks a tiny part of the back yard. And thanks to a privacy fence, I just leave the curtains there open all the time. The cute little curtains actually came with the house, and once I [someday] finish painting in there, I'll have to change them out. The red walls will clash. Besides, I'm thinking a Roman shade might do better.

So I love when things can sit in window sills. I've had stuff there since the day we moved in. It started out as just a soap dispenser, the one on the left, that I painted.

And from there...

...you get...

-that first soap dispenser, which has a broken pump.
-nail scrubber. because with a baby that explodes out of every diaper, well... it's just necessary.
-a soap/lotion dispenser set that I ordered on clearance just to be able to get a bigger discount on my crockpot.
-a rose in a dirty jar that the husband brought home from a video shoot he did. (he brought the rose, not the dirty jar). also in there is a tree limb the boys gave me.
-then there's the science experiment that will take a million years to complete. so it sits there.
-Jo's Christmas stocking toothpaste and brush. as the lazy mom, it's easier to take care of teeth duty in the kitchen.
-trinket dish that holds my most worn rings.
-glass cup that holds B's tooth and gum scrubber and toothpaste.

Once I put this photo on my computer, I realized how gross the window itself is. I just wiped down the sill not that long ago, but it's much harder to reach that window as a short, pregnant person. It's like the top of the oven hood, I always forget it because I can't see it. True story.

So that's my sill. My sweet cute lil' sill that I adore. Cluttered beyond what I hoped. But soon the flower will die, the jar will move on. The science experiment will [eventually] end. And the second soap dispenser will run out. And once again, there will be a sill there that has some space.

he turned 7. in October.

2012-01-21T19:52:00.001-06:00

...and I slacked on taking his birthday photos this past year. It was just a super busy time for us. Seven days before we moved kinda busy. Then I just kept forgetting.

Until today.

Mr. Snaggletooth. He's a handsome little boy. I didn't realize how much he's grown up this year til I saw these photos. Yes, he's also in the awkward random teeth missing, random teeth growing in stage, but I so love it.

My seven year old, Kanyon Ryker.

He loves the drums. He doesn't love to read. He likes doing school only sometimes. He loves the math part. He desperately wants to play sports. He has a big heart. A big imagination. A big love for his brothers. A big way of living life. He's the loud one. He loves all things Spiderman. He's sweet. And he's so much more.

Friday's Top Ten

2012-01-20T22:56:00.000-06:00

...weekly dose of random...

1. *sigh* Seems not one photographer in this town is a birth photographer. This means two things. a) I won't have any one to photograph my only home[slash]last baby ever birth. b) It may just be the specialty I need to crack into once we return to normality after having this baby. And seriously, I would so.love.that! Photographing births? Yes please!

2. Toby and I had a date night tonight. First we went to eat, which was a bust because the wait was soooo long. Which was sad, because we had a gift certificate to spend. So we went to plan B, which was a bust because the traffic was so bad. So plan C it was... munch at the theater while we wait for the movie. Delish, I tell you.

3. Have I ever mentioned I have the best baby in the world? Oh, I have? Well, it's still true. It's like the fourth one's a charm. I'm so wondering what sort of demeanor this next one will have.

4. My laundry is caught up. So in your FACE laundry basket.

5. Technically speaking, this is not a great photo. So much wrong with it.

Adorably speaking, can't you just hear him over there laughing about how he can now climb on the trunk all by himself and stand on it. Yes, oh yes, he thought he was something.

6. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I've kinda had my heart stolen by my wide angle lens. (And get this, it's not even a Canon. Still blows my mind how much I love it and how beautifully it captures my life).

See what I mean? I'm in love again. p.s. that's a 17 week belly that is rather largely poking out there with B chowing on what was left of his lunch.

7. Also, that rather large belly will a) soon be blocking the view to my feet. and b) soon not be able to fit through my tiny shower door.

8. Also, I wasn't going to really put it out there, but I now I kinda want too. I'm doing this thing. It's pretty much a project 365 (366 for this year). But it's not. It's more like a Project Slice of Daily Life (< I totally made that up). It's how I have to think of it. It's less intimidating. And it also makes me really want to capture my life and not just random objects to get a shot for the day. I'm actually enjoying it. It's us. It's how I live my every day. It's just real. I love that. And in the process, I'm striving to get more creative angles. I love creative angles, by the way, so it's been fun. I'm putting it all on my Flickr if you get curious. or bored.

9. Also, I had deliberate plans NOT to do any daily photo projects this year knowing I was having a baby and was going to be so tired that list tri. But then it just started happening. I started taking photos of what was in my day. Then I had it in my head I wanted a slice of every single day captured this year. It sounded so beautiful when it came to me in that way. So I'm going with it.

10. I.love.these.eyebrows. And the face that they're attached to.

The end.
Thanks for sticking it out til the end.
Happy Weekend.

today

2012-01-18T17:11:00.001-06:00

Today I got up less cranky.

Today I took a hot shower. and got dressed. and fluffed my hair.

Today I kept the house picked up.

Today I hung my diapers on the line.

Today I was a bit nicer.

Today I dusted. and got my pretties back on the mantle that have been stacked there since I took the Christmas stuff down.

Today I did more than one load of laundry.

Today I surprised myself when I went to get the stuff out of the dryer, wondered why it was empty, then realized I already folded and put that stuff way.

Today my boys asked to clean the windows. I did not say no.

Today I opened the back door and enjoyed the slight breeze and warm sunshine.

Today I realized how much I miss screen doors.

Today I battled duct tape on a window. I lost.

Today I held the sweetest conversation with the cutest little babbling chatterbox.

Today Daddy will bring home dinner and a few essentials and grill for us.

Today the boys are making lunch sack puppets.

Today I might sew more napkins after the littles go to dreamland.

Today...

Today. I feel good.

(photo via instagram)

freezer meals pt. 2

2012-01-17T20:55:00.004-06:00

So I mentioned last time that I got a fancy pants crockpot (thank you Christmas money) for freezer meals that I made. It took me a little over half a day, maybe 4-5 hours? to prep everything. BUT that was between chasing kids and running back to the store because my not expired meat was bad and you couldn't tell from the front of the package, and maybe I forgot to check my cabinets for things I assumed I have, who knows.

I highly recommend shopping your own pantry before you go grocery shopping, and your freezer, too. Trust me, mkay?

So first, I got out all my freezer bags and labeled them with the meal, the date, and what needs to been done to them the day of. (For example, add snap peas 10 minutes before done). I put them in the order that my recipes were put, it made things easier.

Then, I messed with all the veggies. Lots-o-veggies. And I'm all about fresh veggies, though we do use a lot of frozen ones, too. I'm sure you could do that in this case, too, like for instance, the carrots can probably be bought frozen and pre-sliced, but honestly, they just taste different to me, and they're much mushier.

Anyhoo, so I chopped alllll of my veggies first, including the garlic, which was my least favorite part. Again, you could probably get away with minced in a jar or something. But I find much satisfaction in chopping my own veggies, maybe I'm weird. So I chopped, sliced, and diced. Then I cried.

Oh, but that was just the onions.

I used cookie sheets and just piled them on, instead of individual dishes for each veg. It was easy clean up.

Next, I got out the spices and extras that I knew I'd need. Then I started putting the bags together. I just grabbed the meat out as I needed it, cutting it if needed, as I went. Yes, it went into the bag uncooked. I did not do a single stitch of cooking when prepping. (p.s. idea ~~stemmed~~ ~~stolen~~ ~~borrowed~~ taken from this pin).

After assembling my recipes in the bag, I laid them as flat as possible in the freezer. You might want to spend the dough and get a good freezer bag brand so it doesn't leak.

{my freezer is smallish, so I wouldn't be able to fit many more in there. I did have left over chopped veggies that are in here, plus you can see one of my yogurt jars on the far right. I only made enough of that to fit in the door part}

And that's it. Done. Lots of meals ready to go. One dish wonders. My favorite kind! Okay, mostly one dish wonders, some of them required sides, but those are much easier to make than full meals. Especially if you're like me and have post-children/pregnancy brain where you sometimes forget to start cooking til it is time to eat.

Also, I like to put the next day's dish in the fridge right before bed. This way, it is thawed just enough to put in the crock pot.

I'll post recipe links in my next post. And I'll also tell you how this system is working for us.

and p.s. sorry for the crappy photos. it happens sometimes. especially in crappy kitchen light. plus, let's face it, i just don't know how to make food look pretty or tasty.

part 1 here.

freezer meals pt. 1

2012-01-17T09:31:00.000-06:00

So, I guess I wanted to be part of the crowd and all kinds of cool and awesome, like my friends are (seriously... they are), so I joined Pinterest. Then I started trying things. Yes I did. A few craft things, some food things. (And perhaps I sought a few people out to stalk, maybe, I'm jus' sayin').

But THE best thing (for me, anyhow) that has been circulating on there is the idea of freezer meals. You know, where you take about half a day and prepare all your food for a month.

I so did that. About 15 days worth of food was prepped and frozen (because of leftovers and burger nights and steak nights and such. p.s. hubby cooks those things). Then I waited for my monster 7qt. crockpot to come in the mail. I was in love when I pulled it out of the box. Twice the size of my other (which has been used plenty) and more heating options. It stole my heart right away.

What exactly did I do?

The first thing was this pin. Make and freeze small batches for smoothies (which has nothing to do with my crockpot). This was easy. I have lots-o-jars because I save them all from anything I purchase that comes in a jar. So I put my yogurt in the mini muffin tins, which equated to a heaping tablespoon of yogurt, froze it almost solid. I set all my jars out in a row on the counter and each jar got 2-3 frozen yogurt chunks, depending on it's size. I took my frozen fruit and put in there as well, then instead of slicing a banana on a board, I just cut a few up over the jars, moving to the next jar when I thought there was enough in there. I also threw in some ground flax seed. I forgot to get baby spinach, though, I like that in my smoothies. I'll remember for next time. Clean up after prepping these was easy since I didn't use hardly anything.

I have loved this so much. But I also happen to have a blender that has TWO pieces, the container and the lid. This makes clean up easy, straight into the dishwasher, no small parts or pieces to find. And I've been able to get more fruit and dairy in my diet. I put my jar in the fridge right before bed and it's usually just right to go into the blender in the morning.

I also made these and they are so good. I hide them from the littles because I love them so much. Shhh.

go to part 2 here.

Scavenger Hunt Sunday 01/15/12

2012-01-16T22:48:00.002-06:00

Finally sitting down to finish up this post. Finally. I'm glad to be participating again. Whoop!

1. stacked up

{my littles are finally back in cloth after switching back to a top loader. sweet bliss.}

2. winter wonderland

{my back yard. the day we had a record snow. in west texas. wild.}

3. sweet

{bed time is my favorite time with him, it's the sweetest part of my day,

not because it's bed time, but because of how precious our conversations are.}

4. hole

5. frozen

{I was stuck. so I just picked this one, also from our snow day.}

linking up:

Friday's Top Ten

2012-01-13T12:00:00.000-06:00

When I actually remember to do this, I never really have a plan. I did in the beginning. I would write down ideas because ideas actually came to me. Not now, however. I just make stuff up as I go along. But that's pretty much my life. I'm kind of a random person who embraces change. (Even when it's hard, like now).

1. I haven't talked much about this pregnancy. I've mentioned it a few times here and there, but not just chatted with you about it like I did with number 4. I have so many mixed emotions about it. I'm happy and can't wait to hold my newborn. But in the meantime, pregnancy is draining me. I'm 16 weeks 1 day. We'll probably go in few weeks to find out the sex. Any bets? Another boy? or maybe a girl after all? I have no instinctual feelings this time. At first, I seriously, seriously thought it was twins. Like I flipped out.

2. I look more like 26 weeks instead of 16. Trust me, but don't trust this photo. Also, I don't know what's up with my hand. I wasn't even holding the remote. And also, yes, I got all dressed up to go see the thyroid doctor because I'm usually in pj pants and big loungy shirts.

3. Here's a photo I left out of my morning post, but decided it was, in fact, blog worthy after all. He plops his booty right there anytime I'm in the floor, like after diaper changes. And please ignore what looks like a misshapen belly, part of that is the pull on my shirt. And okay, part of it is the squishy fat over a growing uterus.

4. He runs now. It's funny. He falls a lot. Fits of uncontrollable laughter + toddler running = hilarious near face planting. I shouldn't laugh, but it really is hysterical.

5. My favorite place on the couch. I plant it here a little too often. If I had a laptop, I might never move from there. Alright, I'm probably exaggerating a little. But probably not.

6. This boy here has been undeniably cranky. Ah geez, I just want him to cheer back up. Fuss and whine, whine and fuss. That's how my day looks with this one.

7. Disposable diapers are expensive, especially when certain ones cause rashes and those happen to be the cheapest ones. And when the baby has a blow out every single time (I'm talking at least 5 or 6 a day [he's regular]) that requires a clothing change, the laundry piles up. So I'm waiting patiently today for a top loader to be delivered today. I hate my front loader and regret that purchase so much. It is killer on my diapers. No matter what I try, I can't get them clean. The top loader is still an HE, but I'm thinking it will clean my diapers better than the FL. I'm so ready to be back in cloth. So ready.

8. Jonyn turns three in two months. The older two were potty trained right about this time. He hasn't even started. And shows no interest. As long as it's done by June, I don't even care so much right now. I dread the day we have to start, it's so much work. Who knew parenting required time and work and effort!

9. I crave Cuties. I just can't get enough of the little Clementines. I probably have between 6 and 8 a day. It's nuts, but they're so delicious and sweet. Yesterday, Dad gave the boys the last three before I woke up. Talk about one sad faced Momma.

10. We're back on a homeschooling routine. Finally. I'm so glad.

Happy weekend, homies. So glad you stopped by.

You Capture: Mornings

2012-01-12T14:30:00.000-06:00

Some mornings we start with letting the critters out and calling them back in, those are the mornings they want out twice.

We always open the blinds and curtains. Sunlight is good for my mood, which is bad in the mornings.

Diaper changes are a must. And yes, we're still in sposies. For now. Hoping that changes back to cloth by next week.

The boys make very important calls on their super smart phones.

Baby toes get kissed and chewed. Then they curl up while baby sits in his favorite spot: against my squishy baby bump (which, by the way, has made it to 16 weeks), relaxed back.

This morning, I waited to start last nights dishes til breakfast bowls went in because there was no way I was running the dishwasher partially full.

p.s. as a diehard Canon lover, I LOVE my new[ish] Tamron 28-75mm. ^That shot is why.

Then I multitasked. Messaged the husband, flipped through the Homeschool Sale, and checked the schooling agenda for the day.

Then we got started with History. I always start with History. It's the easiest way for me to transition out of grumpy morning person because it's the easiest-to-do subject for us.

That basically sums up [most of] today's morning.

So happy you stopped by. It does make my day.

linking up:

superman. or falling.

2012-01-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

Life just gets so crazy sometimes. And at the moment, I don't mean busy.

Life is crazy for me because I am tired. It's that simple. Or it's not, but just go with me here.

The house is falling apart. Or it's not and I'm exaggerating. But it has been dadgum messy.

Crazy messy. I'm talking' insanely piled up dishes. Insanely piled up laundry. Crumbs on the floor from last week. Dried up orange peel that Jo decided should be in the floor instead of the trash is hiding under the table. Toys and shoes and socks and jackets and toys strewn. Then there are the toys. Oh I mentioned those already? Add books to that list, too.

I'll just say it. Dirty. It's a dirty mess.

I'm tired. And I have four kids. A husband. Two dogs. And a cat, who is less maintenance than anyone else in this house. Bless her. Oh, also, I'm 15 weeks pregnant. T.I.R.E.D. Add allll that to the not sleeping at night. Not at all. So maybe things have been let go.

Sadly, it's not because I'm just "enjoying the moments with my kids." No, that would be a perfect world. It's because, oh well you know already.

I started tackling tasks this week. Starting with the dishes. Figured I better get off my rear at some point. I've already gained a million pounds. (so it seems).

Then I got to the baby's room. It's looked like this for weeks now.

Also, is Jonyn pretending to be Superman, or is he about to face plant into a pile of ~~junk~~ toys. I can't decide.

Anyways, I got it to this, only by making the bigs keep the littles O.U.T. out. Probably shoulda brightened that photo up a bit. Eh, oh well, it doesn't matter. The point is, it's been getting picked up daily since this happened...

...a whole three days ago. Progress, people, progress.

When B wakes up, he plays with his massive choice of toys. That's how you know he's awake. That and the irresistible chatter. It's too bad the big kid's screaming and running isn't as irresistible. No, that's just loud and annoying at 7am. or earlier on some occasions.

*sigh* I love a clean room. Especially since it happens once every two point eight months. or something.

p.s. Jo has his own little corner over there of trucks and planes and helicopters. It's his own little heaven.

lashin' out

2012-01-09T22:44:00.000-06:00

First of all, I would just like to say that I really wish I could use The Force to blog from where ever I am. Sometimes thoughts go through my head I would like record of. Because really by the time I sit to type, the thoughts have vanished... somewhere into the great big universe. or something. And that's just sad because they were pretty great thoughts. at least, I think they probably were.

Second. Oh me. Oh my goodness. This kid. His lashes. I melt.

What's that you say? You want to see more? That wasn't enough lash for you? And, like me, you want those lashes?!

Mmm, okay, sure.

But I warn you, the cuteness, the lashes, it's enough to make you smile real big and stuff. They are, after all, perfect lashes. He's a lucky boy.

Too much?

No?

I didn't think so.

Also, yes, I referenced Star Wars. Put me on your Geeky Friend List. (But I'll bet I'm already on it).

You Capture: Top 10 of 2011 (photos)

2012-01-09T11:08:00.001-06:00

I knew I wanted to play along with You Capture, but couldn't seem to get my stuff together til just.now. It's the way it goes sometimes.

So here are 10 of my favorites, in no particular order...

1. Baby B at 3 months old.

2. Jonyn being giggly.

3. Baby B in the floor.

4. Sleepy baby.

5. Jonyn at the washer.

6. Baby legs and spotted diapers.

7. Summer time!

8. Just another ordinary moment.

9. Typical summer day.

10. His trike.

11. Solving messy bathroom mysteries.

12. Getting clean dipes off the line.

13. These snow boots in summer were an everyday thing.

14. Yelling for moon. While standing in the rain. In brother's snow boots.

15. Momma and baby.

16. My littles.

17. Baby helping with diaper laundry.

18. Christmas.

Oh friends, I just couldn't help myself. Shame on me. Either way, I'm so glad you stopped by!

linking up:

p.s. 2010 favorites here.

baby grew to toddler

2012-01-03T09:17:00.002-06:00

My baby is 15 months old. Sometimes I get a glimpse of him as a newborn. Little things. Like when I went in last night to make sure he was warm, he was in his usual belly down butt up position. Thumb in mouth of course. I kissed his head behind his ear. I was suddenly reminded what it was like to kiss that spot when he was fresh.

My babies have the fuzziest hair after baths when they are tiny. Images flew through my mind of him being a newborn. Baths and snuggles and breastfeeding.

A little bit ago, I was taking his pj's off of him and he wouldn't bend his arm down as I pulled his sleeve off. I was brought back to when I had to dress him as a baby and bend his little arm for him.

He grows so fast now, hair whisping out behind his ears in curls. Words he can copy. Little legs that run. No baby food or breastfeeding or falling asleep on my chest. No gurgles or coos. He grows and chases and pretends to be a dog because his 2 1/2 year old brother is doing it. He runs to his booster if asked if he's hungry. He's learning he can scream. He be-bops. He climbs. He. just. grows. And he enters my favorite age.

Discovery. Play. Excitement. All things are new. Adventures. Laughing hysterically. He loves.

How they are born loving you and continue to do so completely unconditionally through all our mess ups and hiccups, I'll never understand. Because I mess up, a lot, and keep waiting for my boys to stop loving me because of all my mistakes. Yet, they don't. And I could never stop loving them either.

{dec. 2011}

linking up:

2012

2012-01-02T19:13:00.000-06:00

My first photo of the year.

{jan. 01}

I feel like for a person to be in such a place of despair, or [add any word that's fitting here], some sort of big thing must have happened to them. I've been in that place, I suffered two miscarriages back to back, possibly a third, though I don't think I ever did mention that one. I've been in that dark place.

But to be in such a dark place without seeing a huge reason behind it baffles me, it's beyond my understanding.

Yet, it is exactly where I am. I've suffered nothing major, no big thing that sent me spiraling. I just started for some reason unbeknownst to me. I have tried praying my way out of it, throwing scripture at it, and I just can't get out of this hole.

I start to see a little light, get excited and then the next day, it feels like everything just caves in around me. I can't breathe, there's no clean air. Tears and emotions take over my every move. Rage carries me ugily (made up word that seems to fit) through the day.

My kids watch, but don't get it. Yet I see them picking up on the nasty things I say and do. It's scary-sad.

If I can pick one word for this year, it's healing. I will see someone. I will pray. I will be open and honest. I will journal. I will eat right to improve my moods. I will not take a backseat to getting well. I will not take a backseat while ugliness and filth rule my life. I will not live this year as blurry as the last.

My camera, oddly enough, seems to bring something to my day that nothing else can. I pick it up even if I don't feel like it and things feel a little different. Turning it towards myself seems to do something. I can't describe it, I don't know what it is, I just know it's there.

{jan. 02}

In 2012, I am stepping out of denial into healing.

Please pray a prayer for my family as we must endure this journey together.

memories, dreams, and reflections 2011

2012-01-01T11:01:00.000-06:00

1. Me

I am happy just to have survived this year. It's been a really rough emotional year.

2. I Love You

My ever supporting and loving husband.

3. Still Laughing

Aliens have taken over.

(or maybe it's just decorative pomegranates from my ugly decorative pomegranate tree).

4. Winter Wonderland

My dudes making a snowman.

5. Birthday

My 8 year olds very first party/sleepover. He was beyond thrilled.

6. Friends

Sleepover friends on the trampoline with the water hose.

7. I was inspired...

...when I saw the bottom of this celery.

8. Spring Fever

9. Travel or Vacation

We were able to spend the week of the fourth with family this past year.

10. Summer Days

11. A Day in my Life

12. All Smiles

13. Autumn Harvest

The delicious glow of the sun over my fence in fall.

14. Family or Home

My four monkeys in our first home.

15. Celebrate!

Jo's 2nd birthday, in OK with our whole family.

16. Let's Do It Again.

Take selfies with all my boys again.

17. I miss you.

Being home in OK with my family. Totally miss that. (this is the view from my Mom's house).

18. Beautiful.

My boys.

19. Dress Up

Mario and Luigi

20. Macro

(or close up)

21. Holidays

I think I'm the only person on the planet who loves this shot, but I so do.

It's my favorite from this past Christmas.

22. My favorite

I have many from this last year, this is just one of them.

23. Don't Ever Change

Dear baby boy, please don't ever lose that being the happiest person in the world

quality that I love so much about you.

24. Just Because...So There!

Another favorite of mine from this year.

25. Hopes and Dreams

I hope and pray to get out of this funk.

Depression is washing away my life and I dream of the day I feel ...

somewhat normal and maybe a little joy again.

^ Not too inspiring, I know, but it's where I am.

linking up:

Ashley at Ramblings and Photos

if I could type out the sound of a sigh...

2011-12-30T09:59:00.004-06:00

{christmas morning}

My family came to visit us this week. It was so good to see them, like so amazing, I can't put it into words. I needed the visit more than they know.

But now. They've left. And all I have is tears and clean laundry and the smell of my Mom's hair and happy memories. I wish we could see them more often.

I was so thrilled when we moved where we are, but it's now further from where they are. And some days I just want to move home. Lately, many days I want that. To not really know anyone in this town is so hard. I miss my friends. I miss going to my BFFs house at the last minute, calling her to go to the store for no real reason, letting our kids drive each other crazy instead of us.

I miss people. Stay at home Moms, we see little people every.single.day. I go days where I only talk to Toby after he's off work. And sometimes it's such short conversations. I miss people. friends.

Things have been so rough lately, I can't even tell you. I would scare you. Lots of tears fall.

p.s. I used to feel normal.

Also, my neighbors with the four dogs in the backyard that bark a lot are moving out. Appears to be just to another house in town since they've made several trips the past few days with the tiniest moving truck ever. I never even met them. Our dogs met, though, when my dumb basset/beagle decided she should crawl under the fence to say hi. And, oh, stay. Until I bribed her with food, that is. Stupid.

It's that time for goals and resolutions.

Oh wait, I don't make those. Besides, I'm too tired. This baby is draining me. I just don't know how I'm going to handle five kids, especially if my husband goes back for a second degree.

I mean, will this one be easy, like Brennen? hard, like Jonyn? somewhere in the middle? Five kids. I'm grateful and scared out of my freakin' mind at the same time. Equal portions of thanks and freaked. Sure, go ahead and say "God's got it under control" and all that. Yep, that'll totally make me feel better.

...

here's where I type out the sound of a deep unsettled sigh.

the day after

2011-12-26T14:41:00.001-06:00

This is my new favorite way of storing and displaying past year's Christmas cards. I don't remember where I first saw it, but I thought it was genius!

Binder rings and a hole punch; it's all you need. And you've got yourself a cute little book-ish display of all the beautiful cards you've collected over the years. It's so perfect.

Picture the Holidays
day 26

wrapped with love ...and more.

2011-12-25T13:29:00.000-06:00

wrapped with love
{I wrapped everything with butcher paper and added twine, yarn, pom poms, 1" circle confetti, and handmade felt flowers for some extra cuteness. so.much.fun!}

attitude adjustment
{what do you do at 1am on Christmas Eve? because I do self portraits, yo.}

you are getting sleepy

{I took this a few days ago, but it's hard to get photos of my kidlets sleeping,

so a tired baby ready for his nap is the best I can do. and I had a hard time getting these!

he's really squirmy! lots-o blurry shots.}

life is sweet
{especially when you are given the treats.}

enchantment
{looking with hazy eyes to see what's under the tree the second you wake up}

this magic moment
{the simple pleasures, those are magical. and squishy baby chub, too.}

Picture the Holidays

day 20-25

.... and we're now caught up. phew.

Christmas day photo 2011

2011-12-25T12:52:00.000-06:00

When there were just two of these dudes, I could usually keep them at least looking up in the direction of the camera. With four, you never know who is gonna do what.

remember last year?

Merry Christmas, friends. Have a super blessed day.

the season of lights... and more.

2011-12-22T12:56:00.000-06:00

the season of lights

{playing with negative space}

warm glow

recharge

{I just learned to finger knit, so in the evenings when the kids go to bed, and while the husband's been working evenings, I've been lounging on the couch with tv on netflix and my gray yarn, recharging.}

make a list (check it twice)

{a list under our empty tree}

Picture the Holidays

Days 16-19

...playing a little catch up...

sometimes known as Linus

2011-12-22T11:27:00.001-06:00

Remember when I promised you'd get to see my blanket toting thumb sucker in action? Well here you go. Image overload just for you. And maybe a little for me. Or a lot for me.

He hunts down that blanket like a man on a mission when he's ready to go take a nap.

Also, our Linus is really adorable. Really.

And those eyes! those lashes! I melt.

^my favorite

...and yes, we still have a boxed toilet sitting in our dining room, and these are before I painted the rest of the dining room red the other day.

i make stuff sometimes

2011-12-21T16:24:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling extra, um, what's the word, crappy? lately. So I've fallen behind on a ton of stuff. I plan on catching up on my Picture the Holidays prompts today. I still want my book to look pretty, I want the pictures to bring happy memories when looking back during future holidays, instead of the way I actually feel about the season (and life in general) this year.

Anyways, I got the umption in my gumption a bit ago to finally get my dry erase board idea finshed.

Before we moved, we had this beat up and cheap poster frame lying around needing to be used. It was either toss it or find a creative use for it. So I decided to bring it with us to turn it into a dry erase board for school. In the other house, we had huge windows where we homeschooled, so I used those as my board.

Here, however, I need something to write on. So I made this with two pieces of scrap fabric, one stitch to sew them together and the empty poster frame. Start to finish, it took me about 10 minutes. And geez, it's cute and matches my decor. So it just looks like framed fabric when it's not being written on. Love that.

p.s. not the best photo ever, but you get the idea.

[edited to add: plastic does not work nearly as well as glass, in fact it kinda sucks. so as soon as I can get a glass cut for my other big frame, I will be switching the fabric out to that.]

Friday's Top Ten

2011-12-16T08:58:00.000-06:00

random thoughts for yet another sunless morning.

1. Seriously, I love winter and all, but geez, I want some sun in my life. please and thank you.

2. This kid.

He's all kinds of cute. I can't remember if this was his real laugh, or his fake laugh. Either way, I love his unbalanced toofers. I'm sure he'll get his 6th tooth soon.

3. Upon the recommendation of a friend, I've started reading One Thousand Gifts. I'm anxious to get more to the middle.

4. I went to Target, the post office, and the Wal-Marks yesterday with all four of my spawns. For the record people, YES, they are all mine. < I accidentally rolled my eyes at the lady who asked yesterday. (and also, she called my boys "pretty enough to be girls." YES, they are all boys. And YES, I do have my hands full, thankyouverymuch. It is not necessary to ask these things to a woman who has more than your average 2.5 kids with her. The end.

5. I took vitamins last night before bed, just hoping I'd have more energy today. Either my thyroid is way jacked up (blood work should come back soon) or my Vitamin D deficiency needs to have more Vit. D thrown at it. As it turns out, I slept like crap so I'm pretty sure my vitamin efforts were all for naught.

6. I have been so freaking moody lately. It.is.bad.y'all. So tired of it. Pretty sure it relates to number 5.

7. She loves this dirty window.

8. He likes other people's socks.

9. From our first snow day this season:

10. My dog has the worst gas in.the world. Gag.

got gifts?

2011-12-15T18:02:00.003-06:00

The suggestion for today's prompt was to make note cards or gift tags with a photo you take today and use them on gifts this year. But I didn't exactly shoot a new image for today; I felt that I already had the perfect one. And I really love how it turned out.

ps... hooray for homeschooling, otherwise I would not have had ink in my printer!

Picture the Holidays
Day 15

evolution of four boys

2011-12-15T07:33:00.000-06:00

{sept. 2010}

{oct. 2010}

{dec. 2010}

{may 2011}

{sept. 2011}

{dec. 2011}

simply divine, sincerely yours

2011-12-14T10:48:00.000-06:00

I didn't get my photo taken for yesterday's Simply Divine prompt. It was a really super majorly emotional day for me. Lots-o-tears and such.

We went to my husband's staff Christmas party last night, which I honestly wasn't looking forward too. I'm not all that social. And I still don't know these people. Nevertheless, it was a good time and when I got home, I discovered someone had tossed these little squares of deliciousness into my bag from off our table. They are so good. You know... simply divine.

also, I will not mention how many have touched my lips since I have unwrapped them all for this photo.

And for today's prompt, Sincerely Yours, my cards are not handwritten, and I haven't received too many cards this year. Which is okay, because, I've been penning something entirely different this month, this season. I write letters to Jesus. I prayer journal. And He stirs me.

Picture the Holidays
Day 13 and 14

Merry Christmas

2011-12-14T09:00:00.002-06:00

I adore sending and receiving Christmas cards. Last year was the first year I actually sent them. I think it was because we've never done Family Holiday Photos and last year, I finally let go of the idea that that's how you do Christmas cards.... smiley dressed up family and all. Don't get me wrong, I *love* seeing cards like that, but for our family, we just never did that (call me cheap and lazy).

SO. Last year, I designed this little gem above and this year, I swapped out photos, the color strip on the bottom and the fonts of the words. Is it perfect? Heck, no, but I adore it. I go through my images starting in January and pick out the ones that represent our family and their personalities the best. I just simply adore doing it this way now.

I so wish I could send one to everyone. Everyone! But, well, instead, here we are...

Merry Christmas to you and yours. Love to all.

swooshing by

2011-12-12T22:43:00.000-06:00

I totally wasn't feeling any nausea the past several days. And energy is returning in great heaps. Then I thought maybe that's bad. Then the Lord so graciously allowed me tons of nausea all afternoon and all evening. Things are good.

I picked up some $2 Christmas crafts at Target, and promised the kids that after showers we'd do them. Then I said tomorrow after we finish up our school stuff. Horrible. I should just do what I say we're going to do. Because really, who knows if we'll do them then either. Terrible. I don't follow through well. I'm sure I broke hearts.

I've skipped a few days prayer journaling, and gah, I can tell. The meaner side of me comes out full force. Less prayer turns out to be less reflection of Jesus. Geez, I have to get my act totally together, not just sometimes together.

Those small humans rely on me as Mom to show them what the love of Jesus truly looks like. I gotta get better at this Mom gig. and at being a Jesus girl. at so much in my life.

I feel like I lost this day somewhere. In a flash it was over. What did I even do besides errands for a few hours? I don't get how it happens. Life just swooshes by in a blur sometimes. Tomorrow, though, it'll be full of school and crafts and the every day cleaning. Speaking of school, we have Home Ec. (aka we house keep) every day. Someday, my kids will know how to care for themselves and their homes better than any other 20-something their age. I at least have that. And their future wives will be so blessed.

{he so is}

a whole lot of happy

2011-12-12T21:22:00.001-06:00

It has been dreary. and foggy. and sunless. and dreary. and no light is properly shining through my windows. it's dreary.

So really, there was no good time of day today (or yesterday) to get some photos. I sat on the couch in front of my window anyways and gathered my two littles thinking surely I'll get some happy out of one them.

First I got this:

^ and I have no idea what that face is.

Then I got my thumb sucker:

Finally I wound up with this:

^ which is totally not what I envisioned, but totally print worthy.

because, really, it's so his personality.

and I'll take that over anything else any day.
also, the chin and squish and chub?! I melt.

Picture the Holidays
Day 12

jonyn jonyn jonyn

2011-12-12T10:00:00.001-06:00

He's 2 1/2. He's a nut. He lives in a world all his own. He is so dadgum cute. Mean, but with a sweet streak. Sometimes I happen to catch him on video and maybe it's just 'cause he's my kid, but ah geez, I crack up.

He.is.hilarious. Without trying. It's like watching an animal in the wild. You just don't know what to expect. And I thought I'd share a few clips of crazy boy with you. (Turn on your speakers). Enjoy!

I'd love to translate what he's saying as he's saying it, but at one point, he's shouting "Got it!". I love the slow-mo "Nooo." You also get an "ah-yite!" (alright!). He also repeats at the end, "Is-at?" (what is that?). Also, did you catch the karate chops with looking upward when it says incoming? I die!! Oh, and the air guitar is one of his favorite moves.

Also, the netflix is loud, but if you can figure out what I'm watching
#1 you get a prize and
#2 you're not allowed to make fun.

You also get a prize if you can figure what he's munching on, I have no idea.

Also, I apparently think also is the word of the day.

The end.

shaping up

2011-12-11T21:58:00.001-06:00

I have this ugly little decorative pomegranate tree in my front yard. It's not cute, y'all.

I also struggled so.much. with today's shaping up prompt, finding something that looks like something else. I felt so uninspired, perhaps I looked too hard. But then again, today was so dreary with low visibility due to all the fog.

My fall back was this ugly tree. The inedible fruit kinda, sorta, if you squinted, and tilted your head just.right, looked like ornaments.

A little after 9pm: "Toby, I'm stepping outside to grab some of this ugly fruit to see what I can do." huff.

I tried forcing it to look like an ornament, but in the end, it looks more like a tiny crown. I'm meh about this shot.

On the other hand... maybe they're weird little alien creatures.

Picture the Holidays
Day11

twinkle twinkle

2011-12-10T21:41:00.001-06:00

This was fun. I struggled all day with what to do for today's "twinkle twinkle" prompt. The suggestion was to do long exposure, but I was a little bored with the results the first time I tried today. Then I realized I could write with the lights, duh. It was most challenging because I had to 'write' everything upside down and backwards with the camera and it took several shots to get it all somewhat lined up. I love the results, though, especially with PW's Seventies action.

p.s. forgot to mention that this is my tree.

C for Chambers

music note (fave!!)

love

heart

joy

Picture the Holidays

Day 10

my old girl, Missy

2011-12-10T08:30:00.001-06:00

it's a sign

2011-12-09T16:01:00.001-06:00

It is so easy to forget to enjoy this time of year, to drink it all up and not get distracted by all the stuff.

I want to remember that Oh, Joy! it is the time of year to celebrate the birth of Christ and enJOY my family.

Picture the Holidays

Day 9

a prayer [kinda long]

2011-12-09T10:24:00.001-06:00

[I sat down at my desk to print some activities for my kids, instead I found my way here and suddenly felt I needed to do this.]

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for lifting this sheer exhaustion and constant nausea. I am so grateful to be catching up on laundry, to have a clear counter top, and to be doing school on a regular basis once again. I pray you will help lift the intense pain of my sciatic nerve so I can even better serve my family throughout each day.

Thank you for the recent snow that filled my kids with pure joy. Your blessings are abundant.

Thank you for a certain friend who just gets what I am going through mentally, spiritually, and emotional, because she, too, is in the same place in her walk. Please lift her spirits, show her how much you love her, and continue to walk beside her each and every day, carrying her when the burden is too great. Shower her with your grace, love, and mercy.

You always amaze me by putting the perfect people in my path, even if for just a season. Oh, Lord how much I adore you for that. Thank you so much for each friend you have placed in front of me over the years.

I pray for my beloved friends who hurt and yearn this holiday season. You know each story. I lift them up to you and pray you will show them your glory in many ways this year. Show them at just the right time, after all, your timing is perfect. Heal wounded hearts, and mend broken spirits.

Thank you God for my husband, who works so hard to provide, and continues working even at home. Busyness can weigh us down, but you are able to keep his spirits high. His love for life and others is such a blessing to me. He gives so much and I am truly thankful that you have given him to me to be my one and only love. My life would not be without him.

And, geez, thank you so much for my boys, and baby, who I take for granted each and every day. They are amazing little beings that you have placed in my care for just a short time, and I am so grateful. I do not deserve them, yet you continue to fill our hearts and homes with sweet little ones to bring up in the name of the Lord. I pray they will be strong Christian men, serving you first, always, who marry women so strong in their faith, and will love them unconditionally and remain faithful to them all of their days. And Lord, I pray that I can shine your light on them today, and everyday. Help me to be the loving mother you meant for me to be.

Thank you for my family I cannot be with this year. I love them so much, and would not be who I am with out them. You have given me more than I deserve just by placing me in the loving arms of my mother, by allowing me to have such great examples of love through every family member.

I am so grateful for each in-law. I love them and am grateful for all they are to us. Bless them and shower them with your love. My husband would not be who he is without each of them, and that makes me love them more.

I lift up each and every single person I know to you. Bless them this year. Draw them nearer to you and let them feel your love that is so great words can not explain it.

Thank you, Jesus, for all your amazing wonders, for your love, for you faithfulness, for your grace. I do not deserve it, and I slip and fall and fail you every single day, yet you give so freely. Thank you.

Amen.

reflecting on the season

2011-12-08T19:14:00.001-06:00

Children have such excitement when it comes to this time of year. The lights, the music, [the gifts, ofcourse}, the cold chilly weather, the snow that sometimes comes with it, the chit chat about Christ and all that He is for us. I love the holidays, too. But I love how much they love it even more.

my second born, with the tree reflecting in his big hazel eyes (that look brown here)...

side note: I've been checking daily on the orientation of each day's prompt. I did that early this morning, but hubby had to take the beast to work with him, so I was stuck with out my beloved sidekick Canon. So no photo til just.now. Anyways, my point is that today was vertical and I forgot by this point and I'm hoping it still works for the book.

Picture the Holidays
Day 8

[eta: photo also featured here: Mortal Muses]

the baby and his blanket and thumb

2011-12-08T13:30:00.001-06:00

He's tired. And he lets me know by first fussing, then hunting down one of his two favorite blankets and/or his teddy bear or frog and carrying it to me with his thumb securely in his mouth.

Thumb in the mouth is the ultimate sign of sleepiness.

But when my baby is carrying around the blanket like Linus, I don't want to forget how undeniable adorable he is with it and his thumb sucking.

So naturally, I want pictures. I have tried many days now.

I tried to get a cute shot of him facing me, thumb in mouth, blanket tossed sweetly over his shoulder.

I tried the walking away from me shot, blanket over that shoulder, dragging the ground (I die of sweetness every time).

Instead I get this...

toddler butting in...

and this...

motion blur, and, naturally, blinking...

and, oh yes, my favorite...

he was laying on it so cutely, but I was too slow... or maybe he's too fast...

One of these days, I'll get to share the ultimate cuteness of the blanket toting thumb sucker. Until then, you get baby butt in the air.

express yourself

2011-12-07T20:47:00.001-06:00

I would say.

that.

I expressed myself.

alot.

and.

it was fun.

^but this one goes in the book.

Picture the Holidays

Day 7

also, to see a selfie of me just a year ago, with some words, click here, and another is here.

another day

2011-12-07T13:04:00.001-06:00

Husband says he's on his way home to get us. Crap. I've lost track of time and no one is dressed.

Small basket of fresh laundry is all we have to choose from as I start to rustle through it...

Here, take this. Grab that. Get yourself put together. Socks shoes the works. They scurry and dress and bundle up. Help with the littles.

I dress. Hoping that again the one pair of pants I have clean will button one.last.time.

On the floor, the baby is at that stage, hard to dress, wiggly, squirmy, let me up! I try to distract with no luck.

Littles dressed now. I try a new way of getting off the floor today, the nerve in my hip so painful I have to be creative in how I rise from the ground. Searing pain. I eventually make it. I limp through the house. barely. having to stop. often. just to stop the pain for a second so I can make it another step.

Toddler needs a jacket, I lean over, zip!, ouch! my hair is caught. Undo. Redo.

Baby needs shoes, where are they? go find them, it's now your mission, boys. I know this floor was just picked up yesterday. sigh* that's a battle I shall never win.

just like the laundry.

{last night just before bed}

every little thing

2011-12-06T20:19:00.001-06:00

This year, I have cranberries placed in various places around the house in jars. That's what I went with today. The cute little berries, although, mine are starting to turn into craisins at this point!

But I am having a really hard time deciding which I like best for today. I'll have to think more on it, but I'd love your opinion, too.

^this might be the favorite.

^but I kinda love this, too.

^and I'm a black and white junkie, especially if it's tinted.

and also, I love the focus on the jar here.

see my dilemma?

Picture the Holidays

Day 6

no quiet mornings here

2011-12-06T08:34:00.001-06:00

I really should get up earlier in the mornings. Before the kids. I like a quiet morning. Instead, grunts and weird sounds from my kids annoy and I shush them and tell them for the tenth time to stop. Be quiet. Go clean your room. Just let it be a little quieter in here. And also, don't come into my space til I'm ready.

Gah, I feel like a horrible mother. But geez, this is also the time when I try to read a little scripture, prepare my heart for the day so I don't flip out at small things. I like it quiet. What is so wrong with that. Except they are 7 and 8 and quiet has no meaning in the mornings. Still. Just shhh. Please, kids.

Yesterday the ground was snow covered. When we finally made it out, I was a little relieved the baby was ready to nap, so much mess to clean up after playing in the snow, and our house was already a disaster. I went out with the older three and Dad for a bit. My heart wasn't into it. So after a few snaps of photos, I came inside. Looked around. Oh, house, you need a scrub. So I started. Picking up, clearing counter tops, loading dishes. Christmas music playing softly. The boxed in feeling of a messy house starting to lift.

{made by Dad and the kids}

Now I sit, pulling at a string on my camisole. Oh, great, it's one of those. The ones that hold the shirt together. Sometimes I think I am only being held together by a string. Like I'm about to come unraveled and completely fall apart. Sometimes I do. Lately, I've been keeping it together pretty well. Which is a surprise. I guess a lot can be accomplished with Jesus.

the view from here

2011-12-05T08:41:00.001-06:00

Last night before we heard it raining. And thundering. Glorious. The house inside was quiet with the wee ones in bed. I journaled by low light and soaked it all in.

While all that was completely amazing, it gets better. Just before bed, my husband opened the back door to big snow flakes and snow already covering the ground.

I was anxious to wake up this morning and see how much snow there was and pull out the beast to get a few photos. This is just outside my front door.

Picture the Holidays
Day 5

p.s. the fact that I've been on top of this for five days in a row is no small thing!

prayer journaling

2011-12-04T20:36:00.001-06:00

My soul has been in a deep dark pit. A never ending hole. An ugly, yelling, mean, screaming, mad-face, scowling, unrelenting pit. I'm so over it. I want out.

I'm really good at saying I'll do something, then not doing it. Really, spectacular, actually. But God has been preparing little by little to commit to him, in some fashion, more than I have been committed.

When, or rather, if I pray, it's scattered, unfocused, my mind can't sit still or even stay in prayer. Maybe partly because I have four kids and have a hard time remembering what it's like to do the same thing for any length of time.

Prayer journaling, however, I can rock that. I'll admit. My thoughts stay focused. My pencil doesn't stop. It doesn't sway my mind onto other things. It goes. It breathes life onto the paper that translates my heart into a beautiful prayer made straight to the Lord. Soul soothing.

The past two days have been great. A teensy tiny itty bitty bit of light is shining down into my pit. I can feel it's warmth. Jesus is coming to rescue me. He's embracing me in my current state, yet wanting me to overcome.

My heart is yearning for Him. My hands reaching. My soul crying out. My spirit hopeful. The despair is lifting.

I didn't yell yesterday. I didn't yell today. A huge accomplishment. An unbelievably huge accomplishment. I raised my voice yes, but the bitterness was not in that voice. Sometimes kids require a more stern voice, but the rage that can be in that stern voice, I didn't feel it today. Blessing. Big big blessing. Oh gosh, if you only knew what a feat this is for me. If only you could grasp the amount of rage I live with daily, it's haunting. But now, it's lifting. Slowly.

I'm committed to prayer journaling each night. Pulling out my Bible in the middle of something I've written that beckons me to seek more. Speaking my heart to Jesus through the written word. Listening when He speaks back.

My experience during this first night of prayer journaling was indescribable. The way the Lord revealed things to me. I have not felt that soul satisfied in very very very long time. Tears fell. Heart rejoiced. The whole two pages nearly made it here to this space.

O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

Yes, I have felt this exact thing for so long.

My deep thirst is slowly being quenched. Thank you, Jesus.

Come to me all, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28b

Okay Jesus, I am coming to rest now. For, we have a very long road ahead.

..............................................
p.s. photo I took via Instagram. My Instagram feed and many other random things (as well as my blog feed) get posted to my Facebook page daily if you'd like more of myreal.everyday.life.

you hold the key

2011-12-04T17:56:00.001-06:00

Slow down, take a deep breath, enjoy the moment.

After the kids go to bed, I love the quiet, the time when I can kick off my shoes, curl up on the couch with a blanket, a book or my Bible, and something warm in a mug. It's not every night I can do that. But this time of year, it is the key to returning to a state of peace.

Picture the Holidays
Day 4

favorite from november

2011-12-03T16:02:00.001-06:00

When I think about which one that is, this one takes the cake.

Thank you Paper Mama!

p.s. my first time entering here :)

all you need is love

2011-12-03T12:24:00.001-06:00

Yes, indeed.

And I have four boys, so the only hearts around my house that I could find are these...

Because, really, who doesn't think of hearts when you think of love?

And playing with the props, my littlest love. He's 14 months old now, and the bluest eyed baby ever.

My 2 1/2 year old Tiny Tornado. He sure is cute, even if he leaves a path of destruction everywhere he goes.

I love my boys. I so do.

Picture the Holidays
Day 3

reframing the season

2011-12-02T16:44:00.001-06:00

I feel like things have been ugly for so long and I'm ready to be beyond all this negativity that I feel inside most days. This dumpy place I'm in, I want out. And I know the only way is to focus on Jesus.

I want to reframe the season this year by focusing on the Giver of Life more than anything else.

Picture the Holidays
Day 2

holding on to gratitude

2011-12-01T17:32:00.001-06:00

I'm incredibly grateful for the little nest we have built here.

Four boys and a baby brewing.

My heart swells with this crazy, hard, energetic, strong-minded and strong-willed, big hearted group of kids we are growing up.

It's the toughest best job with many ups and downs, but ultimately, there is so much to be grateful for.

We.are.blessed.

the monkeys:

{lucky shot}

Picture the Holidays
Day 1

catch up

2011-11-30T12:14:00.001-06:00

This thing happens where it hits me over and over again that I'm having [another] baby. Sure, it's still really early, but realizations can strike at any moment.

So I've been a little lax on the boys' schooling. We've skipped a lot of days. We are going year 'round, yes, but if I didn't feel like school, we just didn't do it.

Then it dawns on me, I will need to take time off of this stuff come late June. I better kick it into gear. So my poor boys have been overloaded with work today, and it's barely lunch. And we still have more to go. We're basically gonna be playing catch up for the next couple of weeks.

Also, am I the only nut that considers the possibility of twins with each pregnancy? Because if it turned out to be twins, how on earth would I homeschool, have two toddlers and two babies?! And two babies attached at the breast for that matter!

And if for some reason my kids go back to public school, which I don't like that idea at all for us, I really don't want them to be behind the rest of their class.

So nausea, headaches, or exhaustion, I'm pretty sure I'm pushing the kids' limits. (And mine.) We're so doing this!! Pressing forward to make my kids knowledgable. Cramming lots of stuff into their school days. Yep, it's on, the game of catch up.

(Jo sneaks in between, taunting them with his snacks).

{ iPad + instagram. User name: myrealeverydaylife. Come find me :)}

i have issues

2011-11-29T08:56:00.001-06:00

Today I don't want to yell. I don't want to lose it over those little things. Pent up anger threatens to consume my soul. My every day. I'm working through it. Plans have been made to be through it and past it when this baby comes in June. This way, I can better deal with PPD. As opposed to anger issues and PPD combined.

Nearly 10 weeks. I feel good about this one. I think the Lord will let me keep it. My mommy instinct says I won't lose this one. This is my seventh pregnancy, I have four boys. Can't this one just be a girl this time? My uterus grows. It's already made my pants so uncomfortable I unbutton them the second I can. Or forget about buttons, I like pj pants.

I slack on homeschooling. When my husband is home, I skip it. I justify by saying we are schooling year 'round. Which we are. But still. I should be doing more. Also, how will I homeschool with a three year old, an almost two year old and a new born? It haunts me. I guess it's time to start praying for where God wants the older boys next year.

Still, extreme nausea and exhaustion and headaches are my norm, yet, they are signs of life, even if a little hindering. Growing, warm, protected, let this one be healthy, too.

I have precious boys I take for granted.

I don't want to yell today.

i heart faces: bust a gut

2011-11-28T13:23:00.001-06:00

tickles + rolling around on the couch + static-fied hair = uncontrollable laughter

more gut bustin' here:

thanks for having a peek :)

Friday's Top Ten

2011-11-18T13:29:00.001-06:00

1. I love the small blessings the Lord rains down. He just knows.

2. Brennen. is so. big!

3. I feel [and look] so fat. And it's not baby.

4. Nausea nausea go away!

5. I'm so excited for Thanksgiving! I have the food all planned, and will start making pies Tuesday. It's a big deal for us this year.

6. This morning I realized I was really having a baby and felt ... content. heart full. overwhelmed with happy emotions and thoughts. The bitterness lifted. the non-feelings about her, or him, or them now full of feeling hopeful.

7. Waffles. I can't stop thinking of waffles. I want a waffle iron. And waffles. Lots-o-waffles. Waffles. Waffles. Waffles. Yes please.

8. Waffles.

9. I think I have the smartest 8 year old in the world. Learning comes so quick and easy for him. (the one in the glasses).

10. She. is. pitiful. And cute. Jonyn calls her " Sazzie."

Lovely day, friends.

[ipad photos + instagram]

plans and splinters

2011-11-16T10:24:00.001-06:00

Last night I slept pretty darn well. I was bummed when I heard the husband's alarm go off, but happy I was in such a deep sleep.

At nine this morning, I planned on starting school, then using the extra energy I felt to get some house cleaning done. My laundry is so behind, we're searching for things to wear.

Instead, my 7 year old walks up to me, "What's this?"

gross. A giant filled blister on the top pad of his index finger [I'm sure that spot has a technical name. I just don't know it].

*sigh*

As it turns out, he has a ton of tiny splinters in his hand. From what, you ask. From doing what he should not have been and climbing up our fence. We've been over this, the boys and I. So instead of starting school, I started pulling splinters. It took about an hour, I nearly gagged when we got up to the blister and I had to pop it. That's the stuff better saved for super dad.

I think I needled over 70 splinters of his hand. No tears however, so that was a bonus. Not to mention, the pain of sitting still that long plus the pain of some of those deep ones was way better than any other punishment I could give him. He claims he learned his lesson, I guess we'll see.

Now. To officially start my day. School, here we come. After some diaper changes, that is. And a quick snack.

disaster and bliss

2011-11-15T16:11:00.001-06:00

I seriously don't know how it happens. All I know is that one toddler plus one [walking] baby plus ~~one~~ half a day equals a disaster so big, I don't even know where to begin:

And I'm not even showing you the surfaces of the house, you'd be frightened. How does it happen? And p.s. it looks worse in color, hence, the black and white.

Also, in this town, it seems that after it rains, there are uninvited guests that make their way into the homes of the unsuspecting. I was more than creeped out. Okay, so it's not all that totally huge, but it is THE biggest spider I have personally ever caught inside my home.

And sometimes, my baby walks right up to my desk, crawls under and makes his way between my knees, hands reaching with random objects in tight fists. I scoop him up and spin in my chair. This direction, then the other. Snot and drool falling shameless down his happy little face. I thought children this happy were only fairy tales. Seems my baby is the meaning of bliss.

Friday's Top Ten

2011-11-11T09:21:00.001-06:00

....or eleven. and the photos are not related. whatsoever.

1. I love those first few weeks when baby's move to toddler status and really get the hang of walking, they still stumble and fall a lot, walk crooked, bump into stuff, reach out as far as they can to try and grab something stable, and they always get back up and keep on walkin'.

2. I'm ready to throw my cloth diapers out the window. I'm pretty sure it's my front loader, but I can't get the ammonia to go away. I've tried Funk Rock, Dawn, a gazillion rinses, boiling, and I've resorted to fish tank ammonia remover. I'm in the process of doing extra rinses and will do a stink test over night tonight. If is doesn't work, I give up. Which will make me super sad. Because I love cloth diapering.

3. I think Brennen is done with breastfeeding. I started supplementing with whole milk because my skinny baby hadn't gained any weight in months and he got to where he would only nurse for a second and then be done, so, we're done. And also, I think he is starting to fatten up a bit, finally.

{halloween 2011}

4. I actually slept a long time last night, and slept okay. I woke up a lot, but what's new. But I guess I slept funny, I can't turn my neck to the right at all with out a searing pain.

{halloween 2011}

5. My symptoms are so bad. This nausea is miserable, the exhaustion is.... exhausting, and the waking up in the middle of the night TWICE to pee, is interrupting my sleep. It all feels amplified this time around. I'm not sure if it's age, or so many babies, or maybe a different gender in there, or more than one, or just my imagination. My mind runs wild.

6. I love how much Jonyn is talking now. He says so much. It's like the minute we moved here, his vocabulary grew beyond belief! Except, that he hasn't stopped to take a breath from talking. Even at night when we're trying to fall asleep. His favorites: "What happened?" and "What is that?" Sometimes, they get put on repeat.

{halloween 2011}

7. I talked to a midwife yesterday, I want to have a homebirth. I should be going for a consultation in the next couple of weeks. I look forward to that.

8. I have no attachments to this baby yet. It seems weird to say that, but I don't feel anything yet. I'm sure it will come, but right now, nothing is there. Holy crap, I just admitted that.

{biggest to smallest = oldest to youngest}

9. I miss my Abilene friends. I miss seeing their faces, the Sunday morning hugs and chit chat, the last minute runs to Hobby Lobby, the afternoon visits...

10. I have gained so much weight. I was doing so good with eating clean and healthy right before we moved, and now I can't seem to get back to that. Today I will try. I've had oatmeal and chocolate milk for breakfast. I realize the chocolate part isn't so healthy, but white milk just isn't my thing, unless cookies are being dunked into it.

11. I'm so thankful to my husband who was in the Air Force for six years, served his country, got deployed, and came back home to us each time. He joined as a way to provide for us when we were about to get married. Our life together started there.

Friday's Top Ten

2011-11-04T13:39:00.001-05:00

1. I ran plumb out of deodorant last weekend and had to stop at Target on the way to church to pick up some. I grabbed the nastiest smelling stuff ever. I'm pretty sure. Grapefruit lemon grass. It's smells so gross. Next time I will definitely pay attention.

2. I'm wicked tired. And my mattress sucks. Also, nothing sounds good to eat. ever. But if I don't eat, I feel sick.

3. This week has been something terrible. Two days ago I had a day long meltdown. I felt broken. Completely and utterly broken, at a place that took all I had. I feel so spiritually dry and empty. I spent the whole day in tears. I was in the middle of painting my kitchen cabinets when the ugly cry came.

4. I started reading 3:16 by Max Lucado. I'm kinda going back to the basics of my faith. I feel like I need to start from the beginning.

5. My ridiculously happy baby who is only upset if he's over tired has been even happier lately. I'm not sure how it's possible. But he has to be the world's happiest smiliest kid. It's unreal, in such an awesome way.

6. Sometimes I don't understand why God wanted me to homeschool the boys. Personally, I wouldn't pick me as the best choice to teach my boys. Obeying is not always easy. And sometimes I really really suck and I am really mean.

7. Here's a crazy out of focus photo for ya. But I caught my boy in his brothers' room reading to himself this morning. I was trying to be sneaky. He caught me.

"Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue. Blue."

8. I converted Brennen's crib into a toddler bed this week. He plays a lot, but eventually falls asleep for naps. Night time is great, however. He just zonks out.

9. It's already November. Don't we say this every year? Every month? Nevertheless, the holidays in our first home are going to be amazing.

10. It's been getting so chilly here at night. Pretty soon we'll be able to use our fireplace. That thought makes me so happy.

this very second

2011-11-01T10:27:00.001-05:00

...things are kinda perfect.

Bigs kids sitting across from me doing science work, quietly.

Littles playing together happily in their room. Together. Quiet. Happy.

Diapers in the wash getting ready to send me back to my cloth diaper happy place. Tired of sposies.

Chocolate hidden in the cabinet waiting for my sweet tooth after lunch, and then dinner.

Routine. Husband at work the same time every day, dinner ready when he gets home, evenings stretched long.

Cabinets and fridge full. Blessed.

Baby in belly, the early weeks, making my being tired and dragging, but smiling. This unexpected baby, this last one forsurethistime, will it be a her? My heart wonders.

Cool days ahead, chilly nights. Fall. Lovely light. The air smells different in this town, oil. Surely I'll adjust.

This very second, things are kinda perfect.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Friday's Top Ten

2011-10-28T19:24:00.000-05:00

Images from October...

1.

10.

everyday home

2011-10-28T17:51:00.001-05:00

Everyday, my home is full of chubby naked legs and little squishy bums covered by diapers, among many many other things.

linking up:

change of plans

2011-10-25T21:25:00.001-05:00

God. He has these funny little things that He does.

Like changing your plans. And turning your life upside down again.

He moved us. Gave us a house. My husband a new job. A new town to live in. New friends to make.

The changes apparently didn't end there.

It's still pretty early, but we will be a family of 7 before we know it. Another change we didn't plan or expect.

But one that makes us so happy and excited. And absolutely blessed. Even though I was sure we were done having babies.

I swear this is the last one. Definitely the last one.

the long version [of our home]

2011-10-25T15:38:00.002-05:00

I decided to do a video walk through of the house as opposed to uploading lots of photos. It's a little long and I used the iPad, so the quality isn't amazing. I tried using the Canon, but my mad skillz with the video on that thing are severely lacking.

So here ya have it. Our house that suits our growing family perfectly. The Lord really blessed us with this find. I'm so thankful for the place we are in our lives right now.

So enjoy the video. Hopefully you don't think I sound as dumb as I think I do.

I Heart Faces: Let Them Be Little

2011-10-24T16:23:00.002-05:00

This week's challenge is all about the littles. I have two bigs and two littles for now and this is my two year old, who loves to play in the curtains and play 'KA-BOO'! Lately he's been a super happy little toot, which is a pleasant change!

dinner

2011-10-23T20:09:00.000-05:00

We finally had our first sit down dinner tonight. I've cooked most nights, but we've parked it in front of the tv basically every night. Unpacking is a little tiring and lounging on the couch to chow down is just so easy.

Anyways, we're nearly done. There's a handful of boxes in the garage that need unpacking. Some of it is stuff that belongs in the garage and we have zero storage or shelving in there right now. Hoping to fix that soon.

You can see where I've painted the living and part of the dining. The blue is actually much prettier in person. The rest of the dining, kitchen, and entry is probably next on the list. The fresh coats of paint make this house look so much different! I love color! And I love putting it on the walls. It just makes the house so much prettier :)

My family is crazy. The end.

the office

2011-10-20T15:37:00.000-05:00

I know it seems like an obscure place to start, but it is the only room that is presentable atthisverymoment. This is also when I wish I had a fish eye or wide angle lens. Or both. My 50 just didn't cut it.

The view from the entryway:

I basically continued the shots around the room.

My desk:

Big awesome window plus husband's desk:

That lovely bordered entryway will be a nice rust red sorta color. It looks perfect next to that blue in the dining area.

And we've made it back around!

I have tons of extra frames lying around. Some with glass some without, so I plan on doing some fancy pants decorating by putting fabric in said frames and hanging them on the wall in here. That should make it even more homey in this room.

He provides

2011-10-16T23:04:00.001-05:00

For several months now, God has been leading us on a journey to get to where we are now. New job. New house. A new beginning. Toby and I have never owned our own home before. We rented, then lived in base housing, then church provided housing. But with his new job, we are able to become first time home owners! It is so exciting for us. We officially close on Thursday!

And with the purchase of this house came the purchase of appliances. We've never owned our appliances. So originally we tried to purchase them online and have them sent from the store to our house, but it doesn't work that way. So Friday after the movers got all of our stuff moved in, off we went to Lowe's to get kitchen appliances.

To sum it up, we couldn't get them there. So on to plan B. Sears. We got there, the guy told us it takes 3 days to get them in. I almost cried. I put my head In my hands. He stood there for a second then mentioned that sometimes they have some in the back for various reasons.

First he showed us a fridge, stainless, priced marked down to $600. We looked at it for about 10 seconds and said we'd take it. Then he showed us a stove, also stainless that he had in stock, the only one he had right then. Again, a quick glance and $600 price tag was all I needed to say we'd take it too.

Then we asked about a dishwasher. We saw one, also stainless, marked down to $412, but that tag was on the wrong dishwasher. But the Lord is so good that the one we were looking at was a closeout model priced at $375, less than we thought. Why yes, we'll take it too, thank you. This is where I started crying. How is God so gracious? We don't deserve this really huge blessing.

At checkout, the fridge was even less. And to top it all off, every appliance was a Kenmore. Sears was giving a discount if you bought 3 or more Kenmore appliances.

Instead of spending over $2000 like we thought we would, the Lord provided each of our needs in an unexpected way and we walked out with 3 perfect for us appliances for $1400.

He is so good.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

hello goodbye

2011-10-07T15:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, the baby cats went to their new home in a barn. I thought for sure Momma Cat was going to flip out. She started some sad meowing yesterday evening, but it quickly stopped.

Maybe she was just hungry. I don't know. Today she's walking around here like nothing has changed. She finally weaned the babies completely, so maybe that has something to do with why she's so normal.

The kittens were scared of the box they went in to. And I very much wonder how they did last night. Over night. Without Mom. Then again, they have been wandering out the doggy door at night returning separately from their Momma. I'm sure they are fine, but wonder when it will truly hit Cat that her babies are missing.

The movers came to survey our stuff yesterday. It's really real. We're really moving. Today the entire kitchen gets packed up. It will go in the garage with the other boxes of homeschool stuff, spare blankets, computer and photo stuff, toys, games, books, photos. Our life. Sitting in the garage. In boxes. So strange.

It's been 10 years since I have moved away from loved ones to this town. These past ten years, I have watched some of my very best friends move. Military mostly. I gave them hugs, shed my tears, and felt the emptiness after they left. I carry them around in my heart. I think about them, pray for them. Hoping to one day see them again.

Now it's my turn to be the one to leave, it's different being on this end of it all. Being the one to go. It's hard. I have met some amazing people that I love like family and will miss so much. Even with all the social sites and technology out there, it's not the same as seeing their beautiful faces and hugging them something fierce.

I look forward to all the newness that is in front of us, the starting afresh. It is such a happy sad time for me right now. Saying good bye but saying hello.

bigger

2011-10-05T13:30:00.000-05:00

It is crazy how fast kids grow. Yes, yes we all say it all the time. But how true it is, right?

Jonyn goes to bed with the big kids every night now. And I am great with that. It means a whole night with out a little person in my bed. That also means there is an empty toddler bed in the baby's room.

{his most favorite toy ever}

{he's still not walking}

Brennen turned one almost a week ago. So I decided to see how he would sleep in a toddler bed. I put him in it two nights ago. He stuck that thumb in his mouth, put his head down on his blanket, and I walked out and shut the door. He slept all night.

Last night I did the same thing. I was still awake at 2:30 this morning, so I peeked in there to see if he was in fact still on the bed or if he had fallen off. He was sideways on the bed with his little booty in the air. Precious.

{he's one. wow}

I usually wait til my kids are about 15 or 16 months old before transitioning, but was really curious if it would work better if Brennen was younger. He has done amazing. I'm hoping to be able to keep him in a toddler bed from here on out. Nap time is different, he can see the toys, so he plays. And I cheated and put him back in the crib during the day.

Jonyn. Oh my Jonyn. He is as independent as they come. My little I-can-do-all-things-without-any-help two year old got completely dressed by himself today absolutely refusing to let us help him. Which was hard to sit back and watch because he struggled a bit, but he got it done. And the amazing part was that everything went on correctly. How big he is getting! Maybe this means my mornings have just gotten easier.

guilt

2011-10-03T21:53:00.000-05:00

Several nights ago while lying in bed with my husband, I finally admitted it. It has been weighing on me for a very very long time. Too long.

My admission was that I feel like an awful mother. I feel like my children hate me. And please don't say that all moms feel that way. This is extreme. The feelings are not unjust. I have treated my kids like crap for far too long now. I'm not sure when it happened, when I started dreading getting out of bed each day because I knew I was going to be mean to my kids. I was going to yell, and grab their arms, and get in their faces, and be hurtful. Without control.

Motherhood is what I do. But I do not act like it is a gift. God has been revealing to me how cruel I've really become. No, I do not harm my kids, but I do not treat them with love or respect. I have been careless with my words and actions. I have been thoughtless when it comes to them. Forgetting that they are actually people, too, with real feelings. I've just been a controlling jerk.

I think in some fashion, a bit of depression has a little to do with it, though I'm in great denial about that. I can't go into great detail, but our whole life is about to change with this move and I really feel that it will help. It's not a cure, but adding the needed structure to my life is going to improve so many things in our home. Right now, nothing is consistent or stable, and I look forward to when it is. And I think this instability is causing this awful dip in my mood and behavior.

It's still no excuse to be so rude to my family. But it helps explain it a little. Carrying constant guilt around is hard work. It's draining, exhausting. So is regret. And the "if onlys". If only I could be a good Mom, if only I could not have anger issues, if only I could show affection to my older kids, if only I knew how to discipline Jonyn effectively, if only I was a touchy-feely mom, if only I wasn't making my kids hate me more and more each day. If only.

I admitted to my husband that the last time I remember being totally in bliss was when Taylan, my oldest, was a baby. At some point after I became pregnant with Kanyon or had him, something changed. I know birth control made me crazy after I had him, but something else in me changed. I don't know what. But I want those feelings of bliss to return.

I do know that after admitting all these things and him talking to me so sweetly and being so supportive although I don't deserve it, I feel better about being my kids' mom. I don't deserve their love or forgiveness, but they give it, none the less. I love them something fierce and could not imagine being without them, but I have not shown them near enough how much I love them. The baby gets nearly all of my affection, and I want that to change. I want to share it with all of my boys.

Toby and I both agreed to a no yelling policy, and it goes for every person in this house, there are consequences for each of us if we yell. It has helped so much just not yelling. Other urges (like getting in their faces) have already lessened. My patience has grown a miniscule amount, which is progress. I don't want to be a perfect mom, but I want my kids to grow up and say they loved their childhood, that they felt loved and knew beyond a doubt that they were. I also don't want to hated by them nor do I want to constantly be angry at them for no reason at all. I just want them to be happy loved kids. And I do not want to carry guilt and regret around every single day of my life any longer.

I am so hesitant to hit publish. My children are not abused, and I do let them know I love them, just not nearly enough. But here goes...

o-n-e

2011-10-02T17:23:00.003-05:00

This past Thursday, my baby boy turned one.

And then he did the only thing that matters to a one year old on his birthday.

He enjoyed lovely delicious cake for the first time ever.

He devoured it. And the sugar rush set it fast!

He two fist-ed it and chomped down like his life depended on it.

By the time he was done, only crumbs were left on his tray.

Happy Birthday my sweet happy lovable adorable best-baby-ever funny playful big-blue-eyed bundle of pure bliss. I love you more than you can know! You have blessed our lives beyond measure.

[ps. so sorry for the horribly lit photos.]

Friday's Top Ten... (on Saturday night)

2011-10-01T22:34:00.000-05:00

Ten reasons why neither Jonyn nor I should be left alone...

1. I am now using a tiny Snoopy toothbrush. I'm pretty sure Jonyn was dunking my big girl toothbrush (if you have or have had toddlers, you know what this means) and the only spare in the house was a red Snoopy toothbrush. It's now sitting happily in my toothbrush holder.

2. Climbing.

3. I cut my own bangs. *sigh* Will I ever learn?!

4. Quiet means I can think, which means there's a chance I'll cry about something.

5. Markers. Without caps. Laying around. In reach of the wee one.

{if you look close enough, you can see his two bottom teeth}

6. I bake sometimes when I'm bored. Gooey chocolaty goodness of some sort.

7. I have a slight Netflix addiction at the moment. Alone=too much t.v.

8. Snap decisions [see #3].

9. Talking to oneself can be really awesome but it's usually just scary (at least in my case).

10. Playing outside in the buff, as you know.

little boy

2011-09-27T00:36:00.001-05:00

Mister Tiny Pants has not gained a single pound in three months. But he eats. And he eats a lot. And he moves just as much. And he still nurses. And his eyes are so gorgeous I catch myself staring. He is one cute baby.

He still wears his one size diapers on the smallest setting, and still, they gape depending on the brand. I couldn't let go of the 6-9 month clothes, because he still wears them.

He's so precious, and I like that he's staying little, but really, grow child! Also, he'll be one in two days. Sheesh, that was fast!

And he may be my only one out of four to not be walking by the time he's ONE. Which is kind of a bummer for his one year photos. Because I so love when they first learn to walk and they fall a lot. I think the cutest pictures EVER come from that stage in a baby's life.

The child has gained one pound in eight months.

One of these days he'll grow bigger than 16 pounds, I'm sure of it. Until then, I'll just stare at his eyes some more. And revel in the fact that he's the happiest baby in the world.

barn cats

2011-09-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

I was sure we were going to keep them.

They are cute little fur balls of entertainment. But having three inside cats is a little much for us I think. Although I will say that we've all become kind of attached to them. They even sleep at the foot of our bed sometimes. And now, they finally let us pet them and they purr so loud! But again, 4 kids. 3 cats. 2 dogs. A bunny. See my point? We need to pare down a bit. Especially before we move to Odessa, TX.

Momma Cat is trying to wean them right now. They try to nurse and she runs away. I can't blame her. There just comes a point where you're all, I'm done! Trust. I've been there more than once.

This particular day was the first day the babies followed her outside. And played with her. They were finally unafraid of the wilderness. aka: my backyard.

A downed tree limb and some giant weeds provided a nice play space for these cuties. I was chasing them all crazy-like with my camera and I was getting tons of great shots of blur. Then I just parked it and got shots as they came to me. Much better plan.

My whole point was that we are giving them away to someone from our church who needs a few barn cats. I'm not sure how Momma Cat is going to deal. I've never separated kittens from their Momma before.

I'm just happy and relieved that they'll be together. Maybe I'm a little nuts, but I worry how they're going to do away from Momma, and I worry about how she'll do without them. I'm sure all will be well, but I just can't help myself.

We'll all miss the little boogers. But giving them a new home is the best thing for everyone.

everyday life can throw some punches

2011-09-21T22:57:00.001-05:00

Some days I really want to crawl back in bed before breakfast is even started.

Like today.

Those commercials where the models are on a greased runway with the plates that don't break when they come crashing down? I have those plates. Believe me, they break. And they shatter into a million tiny little pieces. I know this because that I broke a plate first thing this morning. So much for a full set of matching dishes.

I also was clearly not paying attention and had to fish out egg shell from the skillet while I was cooking said eggs.

I spilled milk just after the egg shell incident. On myself.

Brennen went over 12 hours without peeing for reasons I won't go into, so I had a mild panic attack, then fixed him and felt totally guilty because it was from cloth diapering (and guilty because I didn't notice right away). (CD problem is now fixed I'm happy to report. and I got peed all over).

I passed out the last of the milk after spilling it then totally forgot to pick more up when I went grocery shopping. It was written on my list.

I almost forgot to make lunch.

Also, I smashed my baby's finger in the dishwasher. I tore the skin and made it bleed. And he cried hard.

I made mashed potatoes before I remembered the no milk thing, so they were extra buttery.

Jonyn never eats dinner. 3 bites and he's done.

Jonyn never keeps his diaper or clothes on. One hour and he's done. I try. I do. Then I give up and give in to his nakedness.

Jonyn never sits still. Unless Backyardigans is on Netflix. Then he'll mostly sit still, meaning he stays in the living room area. I chase that kid pretty much all day. And I totally use that show to babysit when I need to accomplish something without Jo getting into everything. The toilet is his favorite thing right now. Brand new roll of toilet paper flushed down the toilet = goodbye money. *sigh*

I just realized today Baby B's birthday is next week. We're broke. I suck.

I banged my knee freakin' hard on the corner of our coffee table/trunk.

I have been so blasted busy today that my old lady hip is killing me!

Sometimes it feels good to vent. But seriously I could use a do over. Thankfully, I get one when I wake up in the morning. Jesus is good, and there's always a blessing in there somewhere.

"are you sure we're done?"

2011-09-21T21:50:00.000-05:00

I have probably asked him 20 times this week. No lie.

him: Let's go ahead and have a garage sale.
me (later on): I think I'm going to get rid of the baby stuff. But only if you're sure we're done having babies.
him: ...

I continue to ask throughout the week. And he keeps saying, why? are you pregnant?

no.

Then he'll say, are [you] sure we're done?
I say as I tilt my head and squint, I think so.

I also have to ask him, eyebrows raised, you're sure you don't wanna try for a girl?
Why, are you pregnant?
*sigh.

We think that we are sure we're done having babies. And that we are totally happy and blessed with four amazing boys.

I get all the baby things laid out on the table for the yard sale. I smile.

I see my box of maternity clothes. I sigh. And look. And touch. And remember. And get teary eyed. For only a second.

Yes, we are done. And this.is.it. The goodbye to all things baby. Except of course what's in use with my in-less-than-a-week one year old. Which is not much.

I always get baby fever exactly six months after giving birth. It's a rule or something. And now that I'm not pregnant already like I normally am, the fever is passing. I miss the newborn days, but I don't long for them as before. I love my baby the age he is and don't wish for that tininess anymore.

I am loving this present, this here, this now with each of my boys. And especially, with my husband.

We are so done.

My family is complete.

happy tears come with this realization.

{sept. 29, 2010}

so far

2011-09-20T22:55:00.001-05:00

So as you know, we started this homeschooling journey a month and a half ago. And let me just tell you, it's been interesting.

Some days are much harder than others. Like, on the verge of tears harder. But the nice days, they so make it all worth it. And trust, we have had some really great days!

I deal with attitude and the I don't want to's and the big sighs that basically imply this is stupid and the this is too hard when it's really not. The list goes on.

What I have found the most difficult is balancing school stuff with chasing-toddler-and-baby stuff. Sometimes I get up a million times an hour to see what the world Jonyn has gotten into now. The baby is [finally] getting teeth so he's been a little more unhappy and clingy. And I'm still his milk supply. Oh and Jo likes to climb up right between the big kids and pester them.tickle tickle tickle he says.

So at times, the baby is squirming in my lap while I'm trying to keep Jo entertained with paper and markers while trying to keep him from making his body a work of art and at the same time teach Taylan English while keeping Kanyon focused on his math papers. (say that in one big breath).

And right now, we are schooling until lunch, then after lunch the boys tend to their chores (because I believe learning to take care of yourself is just as important as an education if not just a tad more so) while I pack up our house and sort out the unwanteds for a yard sale. Did I forget to mention we're moving?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad.

i heart faces: a touch of sun

2011-09-19T09:38:00.002-05:00

I'm re-sharing this for i heart faces this week.
Me and my baby.
Close to sunset.
Getting diapers off the line for his nekkid bum.

click here for more lovely sun images:

a perfect way to end dinner

2011-09-17T20:31:00.000-05:00

Two nights ago near the end of dinner, Kanyon looked up and announced enthusiastically that it was raining. I love fall rain. Oh, how I love it so much! No thunder, no lightning, no giant hail, no fast wind. Just the smell, and the sound, and the beautiful sight of rain falling straight down.

So Daddy hopped up and went out there, the boys quickly following. At first they were just sticking their hands in the drips off the roof of the patio.

Then I let them play in it. I did that when I was a kid. Not often, but I remember playing in the fall rain with my brother a handful of times.

Jo dove right in. In his usual attire.

Sitting on the patio while it rained was so lovely. The kids laughing and playing and running.

Jo, hollering for the moon. "Mooooo!" The moon is an everyday topic in our house. We must always know where it is.

Then it rained the next night about the same time. What blessings.... fall. rain. family.

cool falls

2011-09-15T19:27:00.000-05:00

Today was so beautiful. In the fall sense. It wasn't the sunshine-y beautiful, or the clear blue skies beautiful. But the Ahhhh, Fall is in the air beautiful.

So we all went outside today to enjoy it.

{his eyes. are the best.}

The baby sat in the swing quite happily. With the boys keeping him going most of the time. And yes, I actually put a jacket on him because I was actually worried he might get a chill.

My outside boy loved that we were all out there with him, enjoying the Fall. And see? Clothes. And he even had real shoes on!

The two bigs were so busy playing with Dad and each other that it made it a little hard to get a great photo of them. These are a little out of focus and over exposed, but this is them. Playing. Happy.

During dinner, we had another little surprise. I'll fill you in on that later. And no, it has nothing to do with babies.

Also, I've been avoiding looking at the forecast because it's 65F right now and so lovely. A nice change. But I finally just looked. I am happy to report that although the cool Fall isn't sticking around this weekend, it's at least not going to be 100F.

Also, it's supposed to rain through Tuesday. I could just squeal with delight!!

8 years old

2011-09-10T15:43:00.000-05:00

The same day I took the baby's 9 month photos, I took my oldest boy's 8 year photos. He looks so grown up. Everyday he just gets brighter and smarter and more handsome!

I love him!

Nine months

2011-09-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

When Brennen hit 9 months, we had his photo shoot. I just wanted to share the results of that. I'm finally caught up on my client work, so I'm thankful I'm able to catch up on my family shots!

This kid is so cute.

the couch photo

2011-09-09T22:17:00.000-05:00

I like to stick my dudes on the couch for a group shot of them sometimes. I really should do this more often.

My kids rock!

Peace out.

repeat after me

2011-09-08T20:22:00.003-05:00

Many times our kids will mimic us in actions and repeat us in words. It can be scary. Or embarrassing. Things I've said since I can remember are coming out of the mouths of my littles. I never realize what those things sound like until I hear them say it to one of their siblings or back to us. Nothing awful, but small things, that don't sound so funny or clever when said by them.

Sometimes the things they repeat are funny. Quite entertaining. As this video proves. (Make sure you have sound. Four years later, we still laugh hysterically. It is totally worth a watch.)

I'm constantly ~~nagging~~ reminding the boys to pick up their stuff and place things back where they belong after their showers. By constantly, I mean everyday. No exaggeration. I say things like, "Why is this bathroom messy?" "Get your stuff picked up." "Take care of your business."

So to hear Taylan say, "Why is this bathroom messy?" to Kanyon after Kanyon just got out of the shower made me pause and grin. Because I knew that he would no doubt leave all his stuff behind after his shower, too.

Just in case you were not aware, boys are not the cleanest creatures on this earth. True story.

night time victory

2011-09-07T21:56:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting here in my room on my iPad blogging. Something I've not done before.

See, my toddler who has been in our room nearly every night since day 1, and who has had his mattress next to our bed for months sleeping there most nights, is currently in his own bed in his own room with his baby brother.

Shocked? Me too.

I thought it'd be another six months before this happened. So the problem is I have to leave the door open and the hallway light on [for now] so I can't walk by their room to get to the computer room because Baby B will see me and cry and keep Jo awake.

But that is just okay because my bull headed, strong willed, picky pants, my way or the highway toddler is actually in the room and the bed we have designated as his.

This Momma is happy.

sleep escapes me

2011-09-03T00:55:00.001-05:00

I can't sleep. BOO! Too much on my mind. And really, I need to fall asleep, because we have a big weekend ahead.

Traveling. Which I'm way excited about, even though it's not terribly far away. I have a lot to do tomorrow before we leave. In fact, I may go mop my floors after this.

Anyways, I'm not sleeping, so I thought I'd listen to some Pandora... post some photos.

I grabbed the tripod on a whim the other evening and got my two littles and took these.

Another 20 pounds and I might not groan so much about my figure.

I posted these already, and these, but I had to add a few more.

....my kid and his crazy obsession with shoes. He's worse than a grown woman! He changes shoes 80 times a day (and they're rarely his own), about the amount of times he goes in and out. But the snow boots are by far his favorite.

(His other current obsession is the moon. Oh and the word Ewwwww. Just FYI.)

I must say, I'm glad those boots are getting some use, because, you know, it snows so much here in Texas. I think the big boys have worn them twice and now they're too small. But I was happy they had something to wear earlier this year.

Also, I believe we are done having babies. For those who are wondering. Unless God has other plans He has yet to inform us about.

Also the baby can take about 4 steps now before he collapses with enthusiasm. And yeah, he finally had his first tooth break through this week. He's been a busy dude. He also started clapping several days ago. Did I mention this is his birthday month? He'll be one on the 29th. One.

Time, it flies. The kids, they all grow up. Now if I could be a better Mommy in the meantime.

*sigh*

You Capture: Peace

2011-09-01T21:30:00.000-05:00

Peace in our house is knowing you can play your little heart out in whatever attire you desire.

Even if it is just a cloth dipe and big brother's Spiderman snow boots.

Because at the end of the day, all that play makes for a sleepy toddler and an easy, peaceful bedtime.

Deep sigh.

last day of august

2011-08-31T19:50:00.000-05:00

{inspired by the first photo here}